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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If she has dementia, she cannot "consent" to sex, so forget that angle. Tell the staff about the problem, and that you don't want him in her room. Document it in writing to the administrator. They have to manage it. Take the lock off the door, and yes, she shouldn't have any valuables. If she's not in her right mind, door locks could be dangerous anyway, esp. if the staff doesn't have keys, which it sounds like they don't since they have to ask her to open the door.
nh romance . i get tickled sitting in ednas nh lunchroom checking out the old gals and trying to imagine them when they were young and possibly promiscuous . the looks they give me back tells me they know what im thinking . the old gal is thinkin " dam , if i were 20 yrs younger " n im thinkin " dam , if it were dark in here " .. then i go back to the ac dc blaring in my head ..
Now I am puzzled. Your profile says you are caring for Mom at your home and that she has dementia. Maybe Mom should be in memory care? That way the staffing ratio is lower and she will have her care needs met.
Licking the door?! I thought what in the world, but with dementia you never know! LOL!
I am curious, does Mom invite him in? If she enjoys his company, there should not be a problem. They must be in assisted living? Does Mom have dementia? If so, you need to keep an eye on things, but be careful so you don't hurt her feelings or make her mad. If she is competent there should not be a problem with this visitor. You mention Mom's and his ages. That would not make a difference to me. And I would think it nice that she has this friend.
One of the things they ask when a patient is first admitted is whether they are "consenting" or "non-consenting" which is a polite way of asking about sex. If she is designated as non-consenting, Mr. Lick is in trouble, you file a complaint and he gets moved to memory care. If she is consenting, well they can have all the fun they want. Make sure you clarify her status with the Head Nurse (no pun intended).
LOLOLOLO!!!!! OMG!!! I never even thought...(Thanks VegasLady; I didn't even get it from the second post.)
If it's the locked door that bothers you, have maintenance remove the locking mechanism after clearing out all valuables. If it's the guy being in there in the first place, tell staff he's not allowed in her room. They'll do their level best to keep an eye on him.
The nurses that take her meals and medicines have tried to go in to do so and have to get her to unlock the door and he will be on her bed. He got mad at the nurse and said she couldn't go in my moms room without knocking. They do knock wait a minute then go in. He is getting possessive of her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Tell the staff about the problem, and that you don't want him in her room. Document it in writing to the administrator. They have to manage it.
Take the lock off the door, and yes, she shouldn't have any valuables. If she's not in her right mind, door locks could be dangerous anyway, esp. if the staff doesn't have keys, which it sounds like they don't since they have to ask her to open the door.
i get tickled sitting in ednas nh lunchroom checking out the old gals and trying to imagine them when they were young and possibly promiscuous . the looks they give me back tells me they know what im thinking . the old gal is thinkin " dam , if i were 20 yrs younger " n im thinkin " dam , if it were dark in here " ..
then i go back to the ac dc blaring in my head ..
I am curious, does Mom invite him in? If she enjoys his company, there should not be a problem. They must be in assisted living? Does Mom have dementia? If so, you need to keep an eye on things, but be careful so you don't hurt her feelings or make her mad. If she is competent there should not be a problem with this visitor.
You mention Mom's and his ages. That would not make a difference to me. And I would think it nice that she has this friend.
I am so relieved to know he is not licking the door! Does he seem dangerous or threatening in any way?
If she is designated as non-consenting, Mr. Lick is in trouble, you file a complaint and he gets moved to memory care.
If she is consenting, well they can have all the fun they want. Make sure you clarify her status with the Head Nurse (no pun intended).
If it's the locked door that bothers you, have maintenance remove the locking mechanism after clearing out all valuables. If it's the guy being in there in the first place, tell staff he's not allowed in her room. They'll do their level best to keep an eye on him.
Really kind of a tough one.