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He asks me how she is doing. The last nurse listened to her heart and bowel sounds. Took her blood pressure. That was it. And another different nurse did that and looked at her skin for redness and seemed to check her out all over. My mom is not technically unhealthy. She had a stroke and has severe dementia. So I'm not really sure what the nurse is supposed to be doing. Medicare is paying over $4000 a month. I think something is wrong here.

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Ask them what they are observing and talk you through it. Ask them what to expect, what to call them for, what changes you should observe. Learn how to do BP, count heart rate, check O2 levels, listen to heart and lungs, check for dehydration. Read every medicine bottle and look it up. You have tremendous opportunity to learn what the difference is between stable health and declining health. A good nurse reads their patient in a few seconds, but it takes years of practice to have that skill. Ask them. They look, listen, touch and smell all at once.
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She is not technically unhealthy? And yet she is dying. Hmmm ...

If there is no crisis, no problem, no new issues, it may appear that the nurses aren't doing much. They are confirming that there is no need for intervention. If/when they see the beginning of a bedsore you will be grateful they caught it early. If Mom develops a very dry mouth, or starts to drool constantly, you'll see the benefit of the nurses' experience. If Mom has bowel or urinary problems you'll be very happy someone was listening to her body sounds.

In a way, no news is good news. If the nurses don't find something that needs attention, that is awesome. Be glad. When problems do arise you will be very grateful for their participation. At least I was.

The cost of the hospice program is averaged out over all the patients. Some patients need very little intervention, and some need extensive nursing care. Be glad that right now your mom seems to be at the low end of the need spectrum. That is a good thing. And it may change. I don't think your mom's lack of needs right now means something is wrong with the system.

As Pam suggests, you could use this opportunity to learn more about the nursing profession and about caring for terminally ill patients ... if you want to.

I hope the rest of your mother's hospice care goes as smoothly as this for as long as possible.
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I agree with both of the above comments. Your Mum is not a well womanbut your Mum sounds to be doing OK. No, nothing is wrong. Use the time to learn what the nurses are doing and to be in tune with where your Mum is at, as regards to her health. All the best.
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