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Had pneumonia. Put in medically induced coma. Sent to readers. Cries all day every day. Refuses to exercise. Refuses mental health care. Any suggestions?
It sounds like your mother has completely shut down She may still not be feeling 100%. You don’t say how old she is or whether she has other health or mental issues besides the pneumonia. Has she always been contrary and stubborn?
Do you have a home health nurse coming to visit? If so, speak to them about your mother’s behaviors. If not, call her doctor.
Ahmijoy, I agree, she may not be 100% yet. And no offense at all to new posters everywhere, but that is why we check your profile, what you wrote there for us to see. Her Mom is 78. Not so very old.
You do need to speak to a professional about this behavior.
How old is she? How was she before all this happened? Maybe she's 'shutting down' because she's DONE with life. That's not fun to deal with, but it's not uncommon.
Once you've ascertained her baseline health--move with that. Maybe she's ready for Hospice, or perhaps at this stage, just palliative care.
I think EVERYBODY is depressed and anxious these days, and I wouldn't blame her for 'giving up'. Just make sure that this dynamic is coming from a person who is equipped to make these decisions. And if she's not, who is POA and can they make they decisions the way she'd want.
lilbitpostal, Your mom is 78, correct? Anyone who has been anesthetized in a medically induced coma may have quite a long recovery time emotionally and cognitively. Maybe a year for some?
Patience and learning, techniques and understanding. Just keep asking, and look up videos by Teepa Snow for techniques.
A physical therapist, occupational therapist should be sent to her home. With the current orders to isolate, will this be possible? She needs more rehab, imo, either in-patient, or out-patient as her health insurance should allow. Call up the doctor in charge. Did she also have a stroke? (crying) (mobility).
Call her doctor for guidance about what to do next, if anything. If she's refusing all types of care/help/medications/exercise, etc., then maybe she's shutting down and ready to die. What does she SAY? What is it she wants? Your profile says she lives with her husband..........is he helping out? Why did rehab release her if she's crying all day long?
If she's seriously depressed, she needs medication to be able to see a future. After my mother was hospitalized twice in 2011 with serious illness, she was very depressed and refusing to eat or leave the house. I called her doctor, explained her behavior, and he immediately prescribed Wellbutrin for depression. It helped enormously, but she was willing to TAKE the medicine.
Could she be in pain? Sometimes seniors refuse to move because of pain. Fear of falling is also a factor. Is she receiving home care? Have you spoken with the physician for recommendations? If it is okay with the physician, how about giving her a dose of arthritis strength Tylenol prior to ambulation and see if that helps with the tears and refusal to move. Good luck.
Some people take a while to recover from being in a hospital, having anesthesia, etc. But, you never know. It could be due to any number of things like depression, vitamin deficiency, medication, infection, lingering pain, etc. I'd try to see if her doctor can rule some things out. I'd also consider that it could be cognitive decline. I have observed similar behavior with my LO after she had an injury and recovered. She stopped doing things, refused to go to the bathroom, did't want to leave the house, lost interest in hobbies, stopped watching tv, etc. It wasn't until later, that she was diagnosed with dementia. Although, it looked like she could do things, she really couldn't. Her brain was not allowing her to and she was embarrassed, so she stayed alone in bed. I will add that she was ALSO depressed due to this and once she went on medication, her mood was much better. The dementia progressed, but, she felt better overall.
I hope you can find some answers and something that helps.
As others said, it very well could be lingering meds from being in induced coma. Do you have PT and OT coming in to work on her physical therapies? That might help. They can also send a nurse to check on her which would document how she is doing and perhaps talk to doctor about her mental status of crying all the time.
You didn’t give her age or overall health. It sounds to me like she’s scared. Do you know how to walk with her, have equipment you need to help and if she falls can you get her up? Try getting a physical therapist to come into your home and work with you both. Her doctor can request and medical/ insurance will cover the cost. She needs to learn more than just walk. She needs to learn to have confidence in herself and in you as her care giver. good luck Sabrina
Without more information it's hard to give more advice. I agree with some of the others, it sounds like depression. In your profile is says she has depression, anxiety and diabetes but no other medical issues. Is she on any medication for her depression and anxiety already? They might need to be adjusted or she might need to be changed to a different antidepressant. Does she take pain medication? Did she take it in the hospital and has had to stop now that she's at home? She might be in more pain and nobody is willing to see how bad she's hurting? My mom is 76 and has pinched nerves in her lower back and neck. She needs opiate pain medication to be comfortable. It's always a fight with the hospital and nursing home to have them continue these while she's there. Sometimes I have to have her pain Management doctor get involved. Our theory is this: yes we know she may not have long to live and yes we know that opiates may slow down her breathing but we'd rather take that chance then to have her suffer for her remaining years or however long she has left. I closely monitor them and dispense them to her and they are locked up at all times so there are no accidents. Maybe walking is just too difficult for your mom now. I've recently had to accept that my mom may no longer be able to walk very far anymore and I'm moving to make it easier for her to use a wheelchair now.
Please let us know a little more information or an give us an update. Prayers 🙏🙏
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do you have a home health nurse coming to visit? If so, speak to them about your mother’s behaviors. If not, call her doctor.
I agree, she may not be 100% yet.
And no offense at all to new posters everywhere, but that is why we check your profile, what you wrote there for us to see. Her Mom is 78. Not so very old.
How old is she? How was she before all this happened? Maybe she's 'shutting down' because she's DONE with life. That's not fun to deal with, but it's not uncommon.
Once you've ascertained her baseline health--move with that. Maybe she's ready for Hospice, or perhaps at this stage, just palliative care.
I think EVERYBODY is depressed and anxious these days, and I wouldn't blame her for 'giving up'. Just make sure that this dynamic is coming from a person who is equipped to make these decisions. And if she's not, who is POA and can they make they decisions the way she'd want.
Your mom is 78, correct?
Anyone who has been anesthetized in a medically induced coma may have quite a long recovery time emotionally and cognitively.
Maybe a year for some?
Patience and learning, techniques and understanding. Just keep asking, and look up videos by Teepa Snow for techniques.
A physical therapist, occupational therapist should be sent to her home. With the current orders to isolate, will this be possible?
She needs more rehab, imo, either in-patient, or out-patient as her health insurance should allow. Call up the doctor in charge.
Did she also have a stroke? (crying) (mobility).
If she's seriously depressed, she needs medication to be able to see a future. After my mother was hospitalized twice in 2011 with serious illness, she was very depressed and refusing to eat or leave the house. I called her doctor, explained her behavior, and he immediately prescribed Wellbutrin for depression. It helped enormously, but she was willing to TAKE the medicine.
Wishing you the best of luck.
I hope you can find some answers and something that helps.
Ask doctor for in home services.
good luck
Sabrina
Please let us know a little more information or an give us an update. Prayers 🙏🙏