My mother was placed in hospital suddenly about three weeks ago with having over 200 seizures a day; they induced a medical coma to protect her brain while they tried to find a diagnosis. They finally diagnosed with lung cancer (this type of cancer was giving her something called neoplastic syndrome which was attacking her brain). Anyhow, they have now taken her out of the coma to administer chemotherapy as means to prevent seizures, but it's a mess. She can't remember us, can't remember anything; doctors say she is 'without capacity'. She bites the nurses and so has had to postpne a few chemo treatments so they can sedate her. My brother and I are now trying to be in a position to help her out with keeping her finances up to date, but we don't have Power of Attorney, and my mother did not keep a Will to our knowledge. I have so many questions, but basically, has anyone been through this and can you advise us on what we should do at this point in regards to paying her bills? We can't find her checkbook and even if we could, should we just start writing checks from an account we know nothing about? We've monitored the mail and it seems most of her accounts are electronic and not paper. I should say that doctors are hopeful her memory will return but not for many mohths; so where does this leave her and her outstanding bills? Will they turn off the gas and electric at the house and what if she can't pay her upcoming property tax bill? My brother and I do not have extra money to pay her bills with our own money. any advice much appreciated, thanks so much, Natalie
Guardianship is expensive but if mom has savings, you should be able to be reimbursed when you gain access. Keep good records, especially if she may need medicaid. Long term care is very expensive as well. Make sure the attorney you go to is a qualified elder attorney. You might need documents like your birth certificate to show your connection to mom. I'm assuming you have her purse with her drivers license and social security card and insurance information.
This has got to be shocking but once you get started with an attorney who knows the drill, I'm sure they will have ideas on how to help you gain access to her necessary documents.
I'm very sorry that she doesn't recognize you. Hopefully she will regain her memory as she has time to recover. Come back and let us know what you find out and how you are doing.
When you discuss this with the attorney, ask for full guardianship.
Should your mother, hopefully, regain any cognitive ability to manage her own affairs, she can then petition the court to have the guardianship/conservatorship removed.
Just ask your elder lawyer about it, and see what he advises for your state.
All the best to you and your family!