Not thrilled to be there, but not asking to go home either. My brother whom she lived with is there EVERY DAY. Which all the rest of us thing is not healhy for anyone. The nurse called to make me aware of this. I asked if he was interfering with her doing activities. She said no but indicated it was not the best idea. He is saying he want to take her on long day trips and weekend trips?? Denial? yes, poor judgement even bigger yes. This is his problem not mom's. I am MPOA and any outing must be approved by me..
Not going over so well with all the family members. there will be a hug celebration at a brother's house 2 2/2 hours away, then they thought she could spend the night and are annoyed w me and questioning my decision. I have the support of the nurse and a brother in Balto., It was agreed if she spent the night she would come back and have to adjust all over again. She actually chimed it it would be confusing and she wanted to be "home" at night.. I have told them all putting mom in a situation with at least thirty members including lots of running screaming kids with be detimental to her. She has difficulty in a restaurant and gets overstimulated. I think they want her to be there and feel like nothing has changed, but everything has changed. They think I am being unreasonable and negative. We will go through this same battle at christmas, where I am the bad guy. Any other "bad guy" MPOAs ou there that can relate?
Who is her Power of attorney? That person should make the decisions about her visitors and off site visits. If your brother is that person, then he needs to step up and put her needs first and not his own desires. I think I might ask to discuss it with brother and director or someone he will listen to.
I have read about people taking dementia patients on short day trips away from a facility, but I haven't heard of any overnight trips that have positive outcomes. It disrupts their schedule and may confuse them. PLUS, you mom says she wants to be there at bedtime. That is very reasonable. I would honor her request, even if I had to make other family member upset.
If your brother would meet with some of the staff at the facility, perhaps they could explain how well residents do when they are given a few days with their own time and interaction.
I have a friend who's doctor told her to stop going to rest home every day. Doctor told her it's not healthy. She listened.
If having Mom at the celebration is emotionally important enough, maybe have someone designated to bring her, maybe just around meal time for an hour or so, and then go back. And if that is not practical, have a smaller group bring her back things from the celebration as a way of bringing the party to her - we did special meals for holidays that way for my mom and made some good memories that way too.