The whole transition to hospice has been a nightmare. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I pleaded with them last night after mom had two episodes of screaming for her mother and help me I can't breathe. I want the doctor to schedule her meds round the clock and not let them wear off, but all he would do is authorize one extra dose. I've called everyone I could think of, social worker, nurse, help line...I can't even bear to go sit with her. Yesterday I had to scream for 5 minutes in the car before I could even drive home. I'm exhausted, scared, desperate and I don't know what else to do.
Are her basic needs being taken care of? is she being left for long periods in an uncomfortable chair, not getting diapers change regularly. Getting sore because she is not cleaned properly, thirsty with a dry mouth because she can't get herself a drink. There is usually an Ombudsman you can contact.
She was also on a strict schedule of the medication so she would have no break thru pain or anxiety.
I'm hoping this is a case of teething troubles until they can get her medication rebalanced again, is the thing. And meanwhile, for you, overlook the superficial callousness of this advice and take a leaf out of 'The House of God', where young doctors are told to remember: "the patient is the one with the disease."
Yes, you must be exhausted and desperate and scared, but the only way to know if there is something else that *might* be done is to be able to think straight - which you just can't do if you're identifying too closely with how your mother must be feeling. So step back and breathe (screaming does the trick!). Then you'll be better able to pinpoint who has to take responsibility in this situation, and fasten on to that person until something gets DONE.
Go for icy menace with anyone who's being needlessly obstructive - your mother is suffering and you are her advocate. Good luck, I hope you can find who needs kicking.
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