My brother, who convinced our mom to sign over POA to him, along with her house, the family accounting business, its stocks, and the land and building for the business, solely to him, when she Went to live in his home. (They moved her bedroom furniture without consulting with my older sister or me.) She was told he would fairly divide everything between my (now deceased) sister and me. He has now sold all of her assets, all of her personal possessions and furniture from her home, divided them up between himself, his now ex-wife, and his kids and grandkids, and left two 10 x 12 cardboard boxes of what they didn't want for me. He has also now put her in a nursing home against her will. She has never been declared incompetent. She forgets that she has said things, gets confused, but she certainly knows that she has been 'dropped off' and left alone with no power to leave. I want to bring her to a facility in my state, 10 minutes from my home, where she can spend her days with me (I'm home all day) and my family, and her nights there where she can be cared for in case she wanders at night. I have wanted for years for momma to come live with me, but they would never allow it UNTIL her Medicaid was recently in danger of being denied, due to my brother's incompetency to prove with documentation that she had no assets when she was granted Medicaid. I was thrilled to come and get her. Toured and set up the best nursing home here for her. But because one of my brother's grown kids, who lives 1 1/2 hours away from the nursing home where my mom is and visits maybe every other weekend, threw a fit and accused him of 'taking her grandma away from her' (while she lives happily with her DAUGHTER), he has now had a 'change of heart' and has told me that if she is allowed to keep her Medicaid which is in the appeal process now, (without my being allowed to review the documents sent despite repeatedly asking) she will stay where she is, even against her will and despite the fact that both she and I want her to move here. They even tell everyone 'she just loves it there,' which is a blatant lie. I want to LEGALLY and yes, quietly, bring her here. Her doctor even tells me, 'your mother would thrive there with you and your family!' I'm in for the fight of my life, but my sweet momma deserves to spend her last days (or years) on earth feeling happy, wanted, and loved. Where do I start? Please be specific. Thanks in advance!
You and Mom know, don't you, that she can change the POA at any time she is still competent.
As for the Power of Attorney, was this done in an Elder Law Attorney's office? Usually such an attorney would speak privately with an elder to see if this is really what they want, or to see if the elder truly understands the POA document.
It is nice that you want to bring your Mom back to where you live and have her reside in a facility. The idea of bringing her to your house during the day and back to the facility at night isn't a good idea. Your Mom needs to be around other people closer to her own age, learn the Staff, enjoy the activities, etc. With memory issues, that can eventually become very confusing. You might want to re-think that plan.
Is Medicaid in the picture? Usually Medicaid is pretty sharp on investigating past financials.
Who owned the house when is public record. Why would you need his copies of the records? And if something illegal is going on Medicaid will discover it.
I don't understand the waiting to change POA. You make arrangements with a lawyer from a nearby town, go into the nursing home with him or her, mother signs the document in the presence of a notary, the deed's done. Then you and a lawyer can represent her in the Medicaid process. What am I missing?
As hard as this seems, it might be best for you and your husband to not allow your brother's mistakes to affect your finances. If you grab the POA and your mother is required to back pay , you would need to find an atty to sue brother for the funds, and he has none. How about waiting to see how the Medicaid works out? I'd also send him another letter in writing that says that you are not financially responsible for debts of your mother, and those will need to be considered before you move her physically. The amount Medicaid might want could be in the 100K zone, and that should fall to your brother.
And you know you can go to another town to get an elder attorney, yes?
As Kimber166 says, why are you even involved at all? Let your brother handle EVERYTHING. After all, he distributed your mother's assets already. Why is she your responsibility???
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