Mom has been there two weeks, and desperately wants to go home. She was hospitalized with double pneumonia then sent to rehab for mobility issues. I know it's a process, but it's been two weeks and they still let her wear depends instead of getting up to go to bathroom. I spoke to PT yesterday and he said at least two more weeks are needed. I guess my question is it supposed to take quite so long? She was using walker before this and only wore depends at night. I go every day to see her, and it can wear down a person after a while. Especially since she has been depressed last couple days. PT also mentioned she seems confused at times which does worry me. She is on 3 liters oxygen for lung disease and I think it should be increased during therapy BC they say she gets tired and needs to sit. Any thoughts on this?
Your appearance reminds her that she is not home. It reminds her that she wants to go home and she thinks you are the one to get her there. Don’t go every day. If you’re worried about her, call the charge nurse. That’s what I did with my husband and my mother when she was in a nursing home. If you are concerned that her oxygen level is not where it should be, speak with the nurse about that as well. Bear in mind that if she sees you are upset about her being there and disagree with how she’s being treated, she will take her cue from you.
I told her that I was the one to call when she needed to bust out of there, we laughed. There were no calls, she was someone who actually liked it there, talking to her roommates.
It has been suggested to answer saying: " as soon as you can walk", "as soon as the doctor says it is best.", and to distract her. Say, "I am going to go check", and bring back a jello or ice cream treat to distract her, not bringing up discharge again.
Another possibility, her pleas are repetitions, not really understanding where home is. Some patients in cognitive decline may mean their childhood home.
You could say: "We took this opportunity to have the house tented and fumigated" , or "The carpet is being cleaned tomorrow". (Depending on her level of understanding).
Another idea, have PT ordered by the doctor as In Home Care, and take her home with a plan in place, imo.
Others will be able to give you better answers soon. In the meantime, take a break just for you.
My husband was in rehab for 4 months and never saw the doctor. Really. The aides were the ones we relied on for his care and for information. Of course your rehab isn’t going to give your mom the care she would get at home from you. These places are always understaffed. But that doesn’t mean Mom gets shoddy care. Give it another week or so. If Mom doesn’t seem any better, have a chat with the RN. If no satisfaction, go to the D.O. N. Take a deep breath and let the rehab do their job. After a week, if Mom doesn’t seem any better, then you can start questioning things.