I have tried to take care of Mom 24/7 for over 2 years and her condition (Diabetes, Needing depends, Depression, And Dementia} has gotten worst. She likes to sleep until 2-3 pm, says she is at peace. She insists on sucking on sugar free lifesaver's as she has dry mouth, but gets diarrhea from them. It means her sleeping with me. I love her but I do not sleep hardly at all worrying and taking care of her. She does need Assisted Living and is on 3 insulin shots per day. She is definitely better off sleeping at er place. I visit and take her out 2-3 times per week. I also make her Egg Mcmuffin's as she loves them and will not get out of bed to eat until supper.What do I do? I have been having health issues (Colitis) I need relaxation and calm time. I feel guilty but what can I say to her to make her understand without hurting her feelings or getting her upset?
I wouldn't let her stay with you overnight. That's too much of a burden on you and you need to take care of your own health. I'd work on getting your places sold as quickly as possible so you can make the move to VA.
I would not be giving your mom the sugar-free lifesavers if they give her diarrhea. There are dry mouth sprays, toothpastes, and mouth washes you can get for your mom over-the-counter. Try some of those and get her off the candy immediately. Having diarrhea isn't fun for anyone!
If she refuses to mingle with others, there's not too much you can do about that. But it's not up to you to "fix" that by spending more time with her. The more time you spend with her, the less she'll want to spend with others.
Give yourself a break - you're doing the best you can with a very difficult situation. Take care of yourself first, so you'll be there for the long haul for both yourself and your mom. You can't make her happy all of the time, but you can keep her safe and as healthy as possible while you get ready for the move. Hugs to you and please keep us posted.