Great grandkids are on leave from the army in Germany. The landed on Friday and left to visit the grand-daughter-in-law’s family.
They have not called my mom or anyone on our side of the family since landing. My mom’s feelings are hurt because they haven’t called her and she is crying.
Is this a matter of dementia? Because I find myself that our kids and our grandkids and our great grandkids get their own lives, go their own way. Just a fact of life.
Tell her you are sorry she is sad.
There is little else you can do.
With the great grands on military leave, a realistic expectation would be maybe squeezing in a group call.
I always firmly nudged my kids to visit and talk on the phone with my mom, and now, even though my mom has forgotten a lot of people in her life due to dementia, she still remembers my kids and loves to see them and still feels connected to them. Her other grandkids stopped visiting her YEARS ago despite having had a close relationship, and now she doesn't recognize them at all. In fact, she saw them for a rare visit over the holidays and was terrified of them. It was so sad for everyone. So in my opinion neglecting a grandparent that you love is far brattier than being sad that your grandkids are ignoring you.
If crying is something mom is prone to do, you may want to get her an appt with her PCP for calming meds to have on hand. A low dose Rx for Xanax is never a bad thing to have available. Also, speak to the PCP about possible depression she may be dealing with. I know that both my parents were facing depression at that age for various reasons, health conditions they had no control over, mainly. Wellbutrin worked well for mom, and Zoloft did wonders for dad.
Best of luck.
Does she take any meds for anxiety?
Can you ring up the kids and ask them to call for a brief chat?
I always firmly nudged my kids to visit and talk on the phone with my mom, and now, even though my mom has forgotten a lot of people in her life due to dementia, she still remembers my kids and loves to see them and still feels connected to them. Her other grandkids stopped visiting her YEARS ago despite having had a close relationship, and now she doesn't recognize them at all. In fact, she saw them for a rare visit over the holidays and was terrified of them. It was so sad for everyone. So in my opinion neglecting a grandparent that you love is far brattier than being sad that your grandkids are ignoring you.
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