Trying to get her stabilized for 8 days now, I am by her side all day every day. On vent and dialysis. She’s my best friend and the only one I could ever depend on for help, compassion and safety. She never did any preplanning and I’m terrified that I will soon be alone and homeless if she dies without a will.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this most difficult time. Wishing you peace and strength. Keep those special memories of your dear mother close to your heart. Hugs to you.
Be patient with yourself. It will get better! Believe.
good luck. Sending hugs from afar!
Hoping you are safe, and will not be losing your home.
Sorry you must be missing your Mom terribly and it has only been 30 days.
There is no time limit to grieving, to missing someone.
If there were any way that we could take your pain away, or lessen it somehow, we would, you know.
I know you are reading as people reach out to you, and just hope that somehow it makes a difference and you feel a bit less alone and supported.
Just stopped by, late tonight, for a quick hello.
Take care of yourself, even though it is hard. 🧸️
For me, writing here has been incredibly healing. It's hard to start, but once I start, thoughts and feelings I didn't know I had come out spontaneously and eventually, I understand where I am, who I am, much more. And the support of this special group of people has been just incredible, nothing that I've found elsewhere.
This note is just to tell you: we haven't forgotten you, you are still in our hearts. Whatever comes to your mind and want to write, we will be here.
A warm, warm hug to you
x Arwen
Just letting you know you have not been forgotten especially as the holidays quickly approach and how hard it is to go through them after losing a loved one.
I hope you are finding more strength and courage to face the day and the future as well. Maybe as more time wears on, you will be able to tell your friends that have offered you help that you will be able to tell them what your needs are even if it's just one thing to start with.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
(((hugs)))
Please, I know you are mourning, and for each of us that takes what time it takes to walk through, but understand your Mom would want you to celebrate as well, her, her life, your love for one another. Try to see the beauty of the world through her eyes. When you are having the toughest times, do what I do after losing my bro in May: write her a note. Write that you miss her. That you are grieving her. I think sometimes we stay in "guilt" because guilt lets us believe it might have been different. Something could "still be done". Truth is that you are in the midst of grief, and the recognition that this cannot be changed, and you must go on. She will always be with you, Barely. Always with you. My parents have been gone many years and I still feel them with me in so many ways, and I am 78. Thoughts and heart out to you. I am glad you have some support of friends. I hope all the end of life issues are getting ironed out day by day one at a time. They TAKE time to do.
Just checking in with you again.
There may have been some stable supportive people in your life in the past.
Reach out to people you know at this time.
Do not feel bad if you may need to have someone visit you (social distancing),
sit with you, or just check in with you. Time can be limited to 20 min.-half hour.
Otherwise, make good use of the telephone, calling known support organizations, hotlines, etc. (Not giving too much personally identifying information or financial info).
If you are able to get out and vote, even in your grief, I think that could be the single most important action you could take in rejoining the adult world, feeling that yes, you can now get on with the business of living your separate adult life.
Let us know if that is a possibility for you, and how that goes.
Another support for you might be to attend a local church of your choice.
Keep your focus on today, what you can do for yourself today, if only washing your face or taking a shower.
Try to avoid all or nothing thinking.
And allow some sunshine to come into your bedroom to cheer yourself up.
Sending prayers and hugs your way.
I don't know if you are still on the forum but if you are, I just want you to know I'm still thinking and praying for you as you continue grieving for your mom and best friend. I also hope you understand that you won't get through all this overnight; it takes time and sometimes a great amount of time so I'm hoping you're not too hard on yourself. Try not to suppress your feelings/emotions and let them flow naturally. Learn to become your own best friend - your mom will be with you always just in a different way. Nothing and no one can take away everything you've shared and meant to each other.
Sending you a hug and may God give you a sense of peace not just for today but for always.
Please know we are all here for you.
Thinking of you
Just want you to know I've been thinking about you as you go through your first full day without mom - it's always the most surreal time when losing a loved one.
You're on my heart and mind and I hope you have someone to turn to and be with you.
Continued prayers with love for you - please above all else take care of yourself!
She was your best friend. 🕊🌹🕊
Stay here with us, and caregivers can help you through. Through the grief, and through the tasks needing to be attended to by you now.
Ask us a n y t h i n g !
I am so sorry - my heart is breaking for you right now. I really had prayed for a miracle.
May God comfort you during this most difficult time and I will be praying for you as you begin the journey of grieving. There are no amount of words I can say that will console you as I know how much you feel you can't go on without her.
A big hug to you - please know you can come to the forum whenever you feel scared and alone!
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
(sorry, I forgot to hit the "reply" button)
BarelyAdult will not know how many caregivers have stopped by to check on her, only visible in the background by a click on
"helpful answer" or "like this".
A very unique and supportive way to communicate without words.
Bless you this day BarelyAdult, and everyone here.
I do not know where you are located Barely, but from N.Y. to L.A., to Italy, people are here for you as you travel this difficult road, not alone anymore. 💐🌸🌷🌹🌺
Thank you for writing here, thank you for being around.
The best you can do is what you have been doing all along.
Staying by your Mom's side.
Holding her hand.
And, when you need to go home to take care of yourself, do not feel bad or guilty that this is required for your own life, health, and
safety.
💞🧸️💞
My mom had sepsis too, right after coming out of her 3 months coma, she almost died. An angel doctor saved her.
I remember the doctor saying that she found her completely de-hydrated due to nurses not checking the IV often enough and missing the vein. She saved her with lots of hydration and a cardiac catheterization. I remember I've been on the verge of deciding for DNR but the doctor, who knew my mom, told me "Your mom would have like to fight, til the end" so I signed for the catheterization, feeling terible because she had already been through so much. Still, the doctor was right. It saved her.
I'm not a doctor, and this is such a difficult decision that I don't want to intrude, only you can know the answer. But I will tell you the same thing the doctor told me, in the form of a question. Any answer will be the right one.
Do you think your mom would have chosen to fight til the end or, knowing her, do you think she woudl have preferred to be with you in another form and let go of the physical plane?
I'm praying for you both, and hug you, very tight.
You were certainly fortunate to have had an "angel" of a doctor looking after your mom and discovering the deficiencies due to improper nursing care.
You and your mom certainly went through a terrible and at least a somewhat unnecessary ordeal but, I'm glad things turned out well with the doctor saving her life.
I agree, some people are fighters and would want to see it to the end while others would not and just let go. My mom is the fighter; my dad was not.
God bless you for all you went through having to make such tough decisions on her behalf at such a young age.
A big hug to you my dear as well as for "BarelyAdult76."
I'm heartbroken over the update with your mom's situation - you and your mom are still in my thoughts and prayers as you've now been told to prepare for the worst.