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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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If Mother were on hospice, I'd say let her die in her home. But she could go another three or five or more years. Unless you have guardianship (which would be hard to get until/unless she is truly incompetent in the legal sense) you cannot force her into a safer environment.
Something may happen to force the issue. One of her falls may require hospitalization -- she'll be unconscious or in severe pain. That will change the game. Or one of her falls may be fatal. Or her memory loss may become so severe she'll forget where she is or that she wants to stay there.
How long could she afford three full (8 hour) shifts of care in her home? (I know that is very expensive.) After all of her assets are spent, Medicaid would cover her nursing home charges. They would cover some in-home care instead, but not 24 hours, because a nursing home at that point is more cost effective.
I sympathize with the poor dear wanting to die at home. I sympathize with your desire to keep her safe. This is a very difficult challenge.
Better off than what? Living alone? Yes, she would be better off in a nursing home.
Living in her house with 3 shifts of caregivers? Not necessarily. With the right arrangements made she might be better off or at least as well off in her home than in a nursing home. Maybe, maybe not. Can she afford around-the-clock care?
She is now confined to her bedroom. The three care shifts during the day are only about an hour long. When she gets up on her own, she risks falling, an increasingly frequent occurrence. Three days ago she fell and wouldn't or couldn't activate the emergency button on her wrists. Morning shift discovered her lying on the floor, called the emergency services, paramedics checked her out, offered to take her to hospital, she adamantly refused. Again, signed a form and was replaced on her bed. Thereafter and temporarily we instituted a very expensive "night watch" shift by her bed, all night. Incontinence, several trips (assisted) to the bathroom, cleaning of sheets, carpet, etc. She now requires 24 hour qualified nursing care according to all the professionals but "wants to die in my house". Terrible situation where she is not safe at all and requires tons of care. A high quality nursing home nearby is, everyone agrees, the only solution, but mother will not agree. Oh and she has some memory loss/early dementia.
Well my suggestion would be to put a diaper on her to start with and then see if she is capable of using a walker. If that's no good, how about a wheelchair? I had a hard time when my mom was falling frequently putting me in a constant state of anxiety when I had to leave the house to go to the store so I would wait until late at night when she was all tucked in before I left the house. I had to call paramedics to lift her off the floor because at 200 pounds I sure couldn't manage it. She had been on antidepressant meds for too long and stopping them really helped a lot. I didn't realize how much it affected her balance. I did go out and get her a fancy walker with a seat and wheels and brakes and all that. But some people are better off with the plain version until they get used to it. Does she have a potty chair by her bed? Is she opposed to diapers? The new diapers are really more like thick underwear that easily pull on. I hope this helps you in some way to decide what's best all around.
If your mom continues to fall, and she most likely will, her choice to stay at home will be taken from her following one of these falls. She'll injure herself or lay on the floor too long and the subsequent hospitalization will turn into having to live in a nursing home. Only with around the clock care will she be able to stay in her home and in-home care around the clock is more expensive than a nursing home.
If your mom needs 24-hour care she can either get it in her home with around the clock aides or in a nursing home.
CHF is often accompanied by vascular dementia, so she may no longer be competent to decide what is safe for her. I would pursue Guardian status, that is the only way you can move her without her consent. See an attorney and file the petition soon.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Something may happen to force the issue. One of her falls may require hospitalization -- she'll be unconscious or in severe pain. That will change the game. Or one of her falls may be fatal. Or her memory loss may become so severe she'll forget where she is or that she wants to stay there.
How long could she afford three full (8 hour) shifts of care in her home? (I know that is very expensive.) After all of her assets are spent, Medicaid would cover her nursing home charges. They would cover some in-home care instead, but not 24 hours, because a nursing home at that point is more cost effective.
I sympathize with the poor dear wanting to die at home. I sympathize with your desire to keep her safe. This is a very difficult challenge.
Living alone? Yes, she would be better off in a nursing home.
Living in her house with 3 shifts of caregivers? Not necessarily. With the right arrangements made she might be better off or at least as well off in her home than in a nursing home. Maybe, maybe not. Can she afford around-the-clock care?
Who takes care of her now?
Does she have a potty chair by her bed? Is she opposed to diapers? The new diapers are really more like thick underwear that easily pull on. I hope this helps you in some way to decide what's best all around.
If your mom needs 24-hour care she can either get it in her home with around the clock aides or in a nursing home.