I'm not there enough or call enough. I go to lunch once a week. I take to docs. I am going crazy. I work full time. I have a family of my own. Every time the kids call then she lectures them. They moved to be near us if they need us. I didn't realize that they want all my attention. Don't know how to deal. Now my husband and I are fighting about it.
Has your mom been evaluated for cognitive decline? It took us months to get my mom to call on staff for assistance (I don't want to bother them) or to go to activities. But eventually she did both.
As for the kids, phooey, you are spoiling the heck out of them.
Go on vacation with hubs and tell the kids to fend for themselves.
What is your husband in disagreement with you about?
Well, at least he's on your side, and that has to count for something. I bet some of her requests are so unreasonable as to be humorous, at least in retrospect. Maybe that's the ticket. "She just asked me to leave work early...to pick her up a bag of Cheetos and sun screen at Wal-Mart - for her annual trip to the neighborhood pool that she is planning for July 27!!...Honey - I am DONE feeling bad, this is ridiculous - we are going to go out AFTER work and bring her back a six pack of margaritas and tell her to chill...after we've had a couple ourselves!"