My mother has been in and out of hospital for about 3 to 4 months does not take care of her herself and also does not eat properly, she is very picky and also has heart problems, she is very difficult to take care of, and I am feeling very stressed out and depressed due to knowing that she might die, please help me?
I see this is your first post can you tell us more about your situation. As Babelou said you can not do anything to change the way she is. She is going to continue to self distruct and indeed will die sooner or later. if she is close to terminal now consider hospice. Kidney failure will usually get someone admitted. She probably feels pretty ill herself and there will be limited foods that she fancies eating healthy or otherwise. All you can do is make sure she is safe and in a clean comfortable environment. She should of course follow a healthy diet but if this is close to the end it really is not going to make much difference You certainly have a hard job ahead but you can only do the best you can and just ignore the negative things she is doing. Having kidney failure as well as heart problems and being on dialysis is totally exhausting so she probably does not have the energy or the inclination to take care of herself. Keep comming back and venting, there are lots of people in the same boat and will try and help keep your spirits up. Blessings
I think the best plan for your is 1) realize that none of this is your fault, nor can you fix it and 2) make each contact with your mother as good as it can be -- give up trying to change her and try to enjoy her.
Come back and vent again. This is very emotional stuff, and we get it.
You have been a very selfless daughter to give up your job and care for Mom. I know it seems a pretty thankless job at times. One thing to be very certain about is not making any promises that you may not be able to keep later. I am thinking in particular about not promising to keep her at home come what may. Make sure you and Dad take care of your own health. if the time comes when you can no longer manage you just have to make the best arrangements possible for Mom and not feel guilty that you have failed because you have not