We had money in a trust for the family, but I ended up using it all to pay for her being in memory care, now the money is gone. Not sure where to go but she has ruined all relationships with family so none of them will take her in. She has to find another place to live.
It is stressful and I have been physically ill having to make these decisions for mom, but I have no other alternatives. So I guess my advice to you is for your mom to apply for Medicaid and start your search for a memory care that accepts it.
Good Luck.
Running out of money is one of my fears. My Mom never planned on living as long as she has. She has even said that to me. Thankfully she has excellent medical insurance for the rest of her life.
ive actually decided that i want to live but this old b***** is going to outlive me
Is the D word a possibility? I've heard that financially, D word may be a very realistic part of the financial plan as one gets older or needs more care.
https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/minnesota/medicaid-waivers/elderly-waiver
is she the widow or spouse of someone who served in the military during one of the wars? She might qualify for VA pension-aid and attendance.
Please call your county Dept on Aging, they may have info on resources or even ask your memory care admin or, if they have one, social worker.
Some places that take Medicaid are very good. Social workers or placement sites should be able to find the ones with current openings.
I've been searching online for facilities to visit that accept Medicaid for when our mom's money is gone because where she is now does not take Medicaid. Looking at ratings on multiple sites and Dept of Health records, most places have records being cited for care violations which are described (so you can see which places have more evident shortcomings), and also worker per patient numbers on the one site. Even the place where she is now has violations that aren't comforting, but she seems happy and well cared for so I keep in mind there will be no perfect place.
One family member told me that people are caring for loved ones at home because they don't have a choice, and I should post on forums to find out how it's done. I did and received absolutely NO positive feedback here, and I already knew having a dementia patient at home would be difficult and physically demanding.
Our mom even put our Alzheimer's grandmother in a skilled facility years ago because she would keep her up a night, and she couldn't get adequate rest. Our grandmother was easy and wasn't nasty ever like most dementia patients become at some point.
Wishing you the best with finding a place because we are having a time with this ourselves and visiting places as close as possible to home only if they will take Medicaid in the future.
You're right that there are no perfect places. I would ask around for personal recommendations - do you know any nurses, EMTs etc? Or know someone who knows someone? They often have a very good idea of which places seem to be better than the others.
Then, as lealonnie has mentioned, it's best to get them moved into a medcaid accepting facility BEFORE they run out of money. We did this with my MIL. Of course, the original place tried to keep her longer, where the new place worked hard, with our blessing, to get her moved ASAP. $$$ is a greats motivator. The place that will get any money she has left will want to get that while they wait for medicaid to kick in and I believe they will provide them with backpayments. They also had MILs SS check sent to them directly so that's good too and helps the cash flow while you wait for approval.
I used care patrol … it’s a franchise, maybe there is one in your area.. I can’t stress enough about getting someone local . With my mom in another state , while I was searching , the care advisor directed me to what looked like a motel 6 , converted. I can’t say for certain as the picture taken so far away was not clear. She obviously was just scrolling thru her list.
1) financially in need and
2) medically at need
Just being 91 doesn’t qualify a person for LTC.
Here is a link regarding MN Medicaid.
https://mn.gov/dhs/people-we-serve/seniors/health-care/health-care-programs/programs-and-services/ma-nursing-home.jsp
https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/?providerType=NursingHome&redirect=true
overwhelming just thinking of where to start.
Look around/research some SNFs in your area that accept Medicaid, see if there is room for your mom, and if they will accept her. Hopefully you're not entirely out of money and can private pay for a while until her Medicaid application is approved. If so, she should gain access with more ease.
You can also consult a Certified Elder Care attorney for guidance on this whole process (Medicaid) in your state, and to find out what the requirements are, and if your mother meets them or not. The EC attorney may also be able to refer you to someone who can help you with the whole process.
Good luck!