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Mom lives with my husband and I and she sleeps so much. Goes to bed at 9pm and not up until almost noon. I asked if she's feeling ok and say she does and when I tell her it's noon and she's just eating breakfast, she just shrugs her shoulder as to say, "whatever". Done with breakfast and starts reading the paper and falls a sleep again in her chair. Should I be concerned or what? I have to make doctor, nail and hair appointments in the afternoon so that I don't have to keep fighting her to get moving so we can be on time for the appts.

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May I ask how old is your Mom? Elders in their 80's and 90's do tend to sleep a lot, mainly because they have lived a long time and are tired. Also, if Mom takes prescription medicine, such as blood pressure pills, said medicine can make someone very sleepy, too.

My parents use to brag that they only needed 6 hours of sleep and were up with the roosters. But they never added in the nap they took after breakfast, the nap after lunch, the nap before dinner, and the nap after dinner :P
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Mom is 91 and has dementia. She takes just aspirin but does not have high blood pressure. We live in Arizona and at this time of the year can't wait to do housework or lawn work in the afternoon. I know I shouldn't complain but it's been almost 2 years when we moved her in, as she wasn't at the assisted care facility.
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My mom is 90 and has dementia. She goes to bed no later than 6pm and sleeps until 9am. There is nothing wrong with her, she just needs the sleep. This is not unusual. People in their 90"s with dementia do tend to sleep alot. A bomb could go ofc and she won't wake up so I can get chores done while she is sleepijng.
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In the final year of Mom's life, she was sleeping from 6pm till 7am.
In the final two months she was sleeping till about 10 or 11 am
In the final weeks she was sleeping from 4pm till noon

It got harder and harder to get food into her...she was sleeping more than 22 hours a day when she was put on hospice...

Finally...she never really woke up much at all.
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My mom sleeps a lot also. I asked a nurse and her reply was "by this point in her life she earned the right to sleep. "

You mentioned, however, her attitude of "whatever. " Perhaps just make sure she is not depressed or bored. Both of these will make a person want to sleep excessively.
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My 80 yr old mom feels guilty because she sleeps a lot, lives in AL.
I tell her to sleep if she wants and enjoy it. It doesn't take much to wear her out.
I would be like "whatever" too, just let me sleep.
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My 94 yr old mom thinks that old people need a lot of sleep because their bodies are trying to repair everything that is failing. She may be right. She says she feels much better after 12 -14 hours of sleep.
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Depression is a common problem amongst the elderly. Sleeping too much is a common sign of depression. It is a common sign for other health problems, so it's certainly worth discussing this with her doctor as part of a primary care visit to have it checked out.
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My 91 year old dad suffers from dementia and sundowners. Before moving into the NH he would stay up until 'all hours of the night' and not get up until noon, or maybe 2 pm. The shades were always pulled down and was dark in the home, he refused outside help or activities, etc. Now that he is in the nursing home [Don't EVER put me in a nursing home!!] he is sleeping at night, awake during the day, and with regular meals and meds is doing wonderful. I boredom/depression and not eating or taking meds as requited was causing his excessive sleep habits.
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I guess I'll just let her sleep and not worry. Thanks, glad to know that I'm not alone here.
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What is it your mother is supposed to be doing all day? Have a full and active schedule?  A volunteer job?  Outings, trips, gatherings with friends and relatives, out to restaurants and movies? I say, let her sleep on her own schedule as long as she isn't up all night disrupting the household. If all she does is sit and watch daytime tv, and shuffle back and forth to the bathroom all day, I think I would want the sweet release of sleep, too. You could mention it to her doctor, but there's no miraculous cure.
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My mom sleeps until 9:30am, and last night went to bed before 8PM. I try to get her to stay up until 8:30, but I guess as long as she sleeps at night, why not let her create her own schedule. It gives me a little time to myself in the evening and in the morning.
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My mom was in a facility the last three years of her life. Just before they moved her into Hospice, she slept about 15 hours a day. The last time I saw her, 2 nurses and I could not wake her. They moved her into Hospice the next week and she passed a few days later. I honestly believe this is a part of the body "winding down". They've lived their lives and done all they can. Trying to stay active, go places and get things done is just too much trouble. Sometimes it's easier to just retreat into their own world where there are people and places they know, as they remember them decades ago. Being awake brings reality, and that can be unpleasant to them. They can also resent people who try to haul them out of the past into the present.

I'd make sure Mom is comfortable and pain-free and just leave her alone. See if you can find people who will come to your home to perform services for her. At this point, just sitting out in nice weather for a while may be all she wants or needs.
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Make sure she's drinking plenty of fluids when she's awake to avoid dehydration and to flush out a potential bug (bacterial or viral) in her body.

Also, whenever there's a change of season, a sudden change in temperature, a dust storm (I also live in Arizona) or seasonal allergies occurs...my mother's body is sensitive to this and will develop cold and flu-like symptoms, the most obvious one is she sleeps more than usual. Many people think cold/flu only happens in the winter and early spring. These bugs are present all year long, actually.

Have you looked into palliative care so she's being seen by a medical professional once a month in the comfort of her home/your home? If not, then consider a consult. It wouldn't hurt to inquire your mother's eligibility for this type of care so you don't have to drive her to the doctor.
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My Mom does the same thing. She went to bed last night around 9pm and is still sleeping and it's almost 9:30 am. Sometimes she doesn't get up until 10:30 or 11:00. She falls asleep on the couch a lot! I don't worry about it anymore I just make sure she's still breathing!
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Let her sleep! It's the only respit I get from the constant nagging and complaining and demanding. And plus she, too, feels better after an afternoon nappie!. Much better attitude at the dinner table! It's a good thing!.
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I see you live in Arizona. I live in the Phoenix area. My mom is 95, lives with us, entering into end stage Alzheimer's. 2 years ago I was so upset with her primary care doctor I looked into alternatives. There are many 'House Call Doctors, Mobile Physicians, etc that will come to your home for no charge. It is a lifesaver. I also contacted a major hospice program that came out, did a complete evaluation and testing on mom. She doesn't quite qualify for Hospice care because there are other factors involved. ( you can go online and search for Hospice qualifications). They have a Palliative Care for Dementia program that mom is in. A Social Worker comes to the home once a month and is documenting her behaviors. They work closely with our mobile physician (Nurse Practitioner) to get mom on the proper meds for her depression and anxiety (packing to move back in with her mom and dad, etc.) You may have to do some calling, internet searching, etc but there are many in Arizona. This has been an absolute lifesaver for my husband and me. Let me know if I can help you anymore. My dad also had horrific Alzheimer's with 'behaviors' and died almost 3 years ago.
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Yes! My DH is 95 and it is not unusual for them to sleep up to 20 hours daily.

Meals are whenever they are awake :)

Don't over-stress yourself - if breakfast is at noon - like your mom says, "whatever"

Wait until she starts asking if she slept through a meal, lol. I finally figured it out and just make another breakfast or whatever meal he thinks he slept through.

Calories in are necessary for better health. I make sure to give all the vitamins and Probiotics for healthy gut - makes a huge difference! BTW, I only this week learned that Probiotics need refrigeration *slaps forehead* - the more normal the stool, the less apt to get butt boo-boo's.
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I'm envious that she can sleep so much! I am almost 80 and do good if I sleep 6 hrs a night, even with melatonin and/or benadryl. I all asleep easily, usually between 10 and 11 p.m., but wake up every couple of hours and can't get back to sleep for 30 min or more.
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My 90-year-old mom also wants to sleep a lot, but we have a different opinion. She is actually in decent health except she has been on drugs for depression her whole life and is a bit of a narcissist. Her doctors want her to EXERCISE. Sleeping and sitting too much causes the body to weaken and increases the likelihood of falls. When mom exercises (the stupid class is at 9:30, so she has to get up by 7:15 am) she feels a lot better. Her medical team also says she can physically do a lot more than she does - point in ae, when she was in acute rehab after her last fall, she was in some sort of physical activity multiple times per day. We discovered that putting her on a strict schedule was recommended; same bed tie same wake-up time. She does not always make it, largely because my dad is the primary caregiver and she does not respond well to him, plus he does not stick to the schedule cause it is easier for him if she sleeps...except when she gets weak and falls. Vicious cycle, LOL. Anyway, giving mom a sense of purpose (like chores to do), fun activities, more socializing with folks her own age, and limiting her daytime naps to 2-one hour stints during the day, are best for her. She now has a written schedule posted on her walker; she says this helps her know what she is supposed to do, which gives her a sense of purpose, too. We also try to limit the amount of Fox News she watches because all the negative info makes her worried. She was having bad dreams at night that also disrupted her sleep; doc added a med for that and it helps her sleep thru the night much better and no more horrific dreams. All things to consider.
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We moved my mother out of assisted living because she needed so little care. At the time, I was told by my SIL that mom needed to get up at 8am and needed to be on a schedule. I thought to myself "I'm not even up at 8am!" So my sister and I decided that 9:30 was a perfect wake up time, and that 8pm was a good bedtime. Mom has started waking herself up by about 9:20 which helps me because she can still get herself dressed, etc. This gives her a sense of independence. I used to go up and get her up, pick out her clothes and stay with her until she came down for breakfast. I was exhausted! Why exhaust yourself now, when you'll have enough of that as your mom gets worse.
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I would be very worried. I would get her medically evaluated and if there's no medical reason for her to be sleeping so much I would start dragging her out of bed and keeping her up
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Not to be a wet blanket here....but, in my experience with the sick and elderly, I have found that when they begin to sleep a lot....it's almost like the beginning of the end. Right now my 93 year old mother with dementia, who has always been a little mighty-might, is beginning to sleep longer in the mornings and taking more naps during the day. I am preparing for the end, tho I can't measure when that will be.
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My mom is 94, has fibro among many other health issues. She lives by herself (in a senior apt) and takes a lot of Xanax...she doesn't sleep very much. Her quality of life is not good. She cries every day or laughs @ nothing at all. Other than me, she has 1 caregiver that comes a few hours a week and they get along better than she does with me. She is constantly trying to find me something else to do for her. I cannot work or even have issues if I try to spend the overnight with my husband. Let her sleep, try to take care of yourself because you deserve it...don't feel guilty
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As I have recorded here before. My Alz spouse goes to bed 9 ish wakes to pee several times then about (sometimes) 8:30 eats breakfast & back to bed till 3ish. Our first primary doc said what's wrong with sleep? I have to get him up 8:30 3 days a wk for adult day care. He says he's sleepy & I tell him he can sleep in car & we can't be late. Who knows...but as long as he sleeps at night & I get sleep we are happy campers. I say if it makes him happy why not. God knows his number of days left & we can't change that.
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It's very typical for elders to sleep a lot.
What would be atypical is one who doesn't sleep.
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Since mom no longer walks she has started sleeping more - the less you do the less you want to do I figure - she never needed much sleep so now is her chance to catch up

I do worry when she goes down for a nap and the caregiver can't get her up before she leaves at 5 pm
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If your Mom has diabetes, ask the caregiver to gently massage her feet to keep the circulation moving.
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I am a pharmacist. Sounds like side effects of a medication. What meds is she on?
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To save time, I saw MsMadge post that the doctor upped her mother's medicine for diabetes recently. Is that helpful? @pharmacist.
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