Things are turning up missing in mom's home, she is 93 and a bit hard of hearing, and mobility issues, but is fully competent of knowing what she has and is going on. She appointed POA's, and has a Conservator for her money. These of course are good, and POA is not able to do anything to help when the mom doesn't want to start the ball rolling about doing the right thing for items she knows are turning up missing when certain people come to her home. The problem is she complains to no end about the problem, but when she is told how she can handle the situation, the brick wall goes up and those trying to help become a bit of the enemy. She has tried to confront the person(s) that are doing the stealing, however, they have now blocked her from communicating with them. Has anyone been in the situation where it has become a continual conversation of problem, but the aging parent won't do what is right because of fear of what the perpetrators will retaliate with. It is abuse and our system for elder abuse here is not seeing the whole picture as she is not considered to be in harms-way. So the stealing continues. Any suggestions?
Change the locks!
from her. We even found her partial hidden in the cabinet wrapped up in tissue paper so no one would take them. Her jewelry armoire was totally emptied into different boxes and hidden so no one would steal them because she noticed things were missing. A caregiver gave her a beautiful quilt which she promptly hid in her dresser so on one would take it. I gave her a beautiful robe and slippers which she continues to hide in the back part of the closet so no one will take it. If I were you, I would look around and you will probably find what is missing. Look in pillow cases, drawers, under the bed and in the back of shelves. We are always looking for what is “stolen” and usually find it. Good luck!
Do you know for a fact that thefts of property have taken place?
If so, is there any reason why you yourself cannot report them either to their employers or to the police?
Of course, it all slightly depends on what is going missing and in what circumstances. But if it's cash, jewellery or items of defined value like that, and you're sure of your facts, what's stopping you?
Are the "certain people" relatives, friends, neighbours or hired assistants?
Social security found record of misuse, mom would not press charges, but did get representative payee. All sorts of items are missing, pillows, jewelry, social security card, state ID, pictures, clock, and music she listens to. Bug band era and Kenny Roger's etc.
She however did get a bit spunky and blocked them. They called the police on her saying she was behaving strangely and wanted police to make a visit. This family wants control and they dont have it.
If she does yet still prefers not to confront the person try in home cameras.
You can’t make her act but I’d be proactive in making sure it doesn’t happen again.
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