I am confused about what I should do. Since last December my mother has complained of itching. We went to her PCP two or three times and a dermatologist once. They told her nothing was wrong and told her to use hydrocortisone creme. She also had some feminine itching, so she made an appointment with a gynecologist, who found nothing wrong and prescribed a hydrocortisone creme. For the last two weeks she has been wanting to go to the doctor again for her itching. I told her we had gone several times and I wouldn't take her again. She denied even going to the doctor, though I don't think she believes her denials. My mother loves to visit doctors.
This evening we received a recorded call from the dermatologists office to confirm the appointment on Friday. I don't know what to do. I haven't mentioned it to her. I know she will expect me to take her even after I told her I wouldn't. I know it is a waste of our time and Medicare dollars.
I haven't mentioned to her that I know yet, because I haven't decided what I should do. I thought I would ask what the people here would do. I dread another battle, but I am embarrassed to keep running to the doctors when they can't help.
My grandmother never drove but she managed to get anywhere she wanted to go in the city by using public transit. Then the city fathers decided to make bus rides free for senior citizens. Gramma was distressed. "Just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm a charity case!" She was too old to get by with just not showing the free bus pass. Bus drivers automatically put their hand over the money collector machine when she came on. Those who knew her said "I can't collect from you." And, sadly, she actually reduced her bus riding considerably.
Isn't it funny how some elderly refuse to accept "charity" even when it is perfectly reasonable, and others aren't the least concerned about ripping off an overburdened system? Too bad we can't take those attitudes, blend them thoroughly, and redistribute a happy medium to everyone!
It took me a lifetime but I finally quit being a doormat and I taught my kids to not allow it either. That was what my mom couldn't handle. She wanted us to do for her whenever she snapped her fingers. We would've been in the doctors' office every day if we hadn't set limits. She eventually had enough of not getting her way and disowned us. It was her decision, a very STUPID one, but it's in the past now.
Where my we lived the bus ride is free for elders. But it's a huge city and riding the bus was not safe for anyone much less an elder so that wasn't an option or believe you me, mom would've been riding all over town on a free pass. And I could never figure out where this attitude came into being because my parents never had that mindset.
Happy medium would be grand!!
Hang in there with your mom. I'm sure she has some legitimate reasons for visiting the doctor. But it sounds to me as if she enjoys the attention, good and bad, all this activity results in. That's what is so offsetting and frustrating, it was with my mom. I'm a loner but my mom wanted or needed lots of attention so we never meshed on that topic.
Have a good evening, all. xoxo
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