Anyone have any ideas or experiences with the dementia patients who hides their eye glasses? I have this problem with my mom. I have the eyeglasses with a ribbon around her neck all day but at night she hides it in places that it takes me days to find it! I even used a safety pin to secure the ribbon to back of her shirt, but she took it out and hid it again. Then every day she asks for it and of course she blames it on my poor husband! 😄
Also she goes to my closet and takes my clothes claiming that they're hers even though I'm petite and she is not! I know they don't think of sizes, but this is getting too much! Was funny at first but now I have to look for my clothes in her closet! 🙄
Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance🙏
Putting it on the door to your room is probably even a better option anyway, because those with dementia can start rummaging through your drawers too! Mom was doing this in her own place, so I had YB take her out for a bit and took every piece of paper, bill, statements, etc I could find! She was digging out old stuff and making my life hell!!! If you do this, consider ensuring ANYTHING important is kept in your room (or install the same covers on the doors to any rooms with important items.)
As for the glasses - having a special place marked for them might work, but probably won't. The "hiding" of items is more like a safe-keeping method for those with dementia. The problem is they won't remember where they put the items! Glasses are difficult to locate, but try a hearing aid!! The RFID tags *might* work, but searching for these so far have only shown some that are rather large for glasses. I only did a cursory search, so there might be options out there. I know these can be attached to various items, to help locating them, but if it is bulky, she likely won't like it on her glasses. If she leaves the chain/string/ribbon attached to the glasses, perhaps the tag could be attahced to that instead. I had thought about trying this for the hearing aids, but it would only help back then if we lived together (she was on her own at that time) and the tags were not very small, not good for a hearing aid.)
We've lost several hearing aids at MC due to laundry (was lost in the sheets, no one checked) and one of the newest pair (last year) went AWOL shortly after we got it, probably wrapped in tissue or napkin at meal time and tossed. She kept taking out the remaining one, so they pretty much don't give it to her.
If she's willing to let you take them at night, before bed, and lock them up, go with that. If not, would you consider a baby monitor, so you can watch where she puts things?
Also her mother needs her glasses when she WALKS or watches TV so she does need the glasses. (Since Mom really doesn't know what she is doing, she doesn't need to be punished by not having them replaced)
I would also suggest putting child locks on your closet(s) so she can not rummage through your closets - maybe also your drawers too - so you won't keep playing hide and seek with everything,
Keep a few drawers available for her use that hold items of nominal value for her to sort and go through.
As for your personal items. Thats more serious. Get a padlock and lock up your stuff...or at least lock your room whenever you are in another part of the house.
i got tired of buying replacement phones and remotes to have “in stock”. I buy Tile finders to stick on all my mother’s remotes and phones. The app on my iPhone has been a blessing when she accused us of taking things. I pull my app up and the Tile beeps and locates the missing item. And the tile device stays adhered! She hasn’t removed any of them yet!
My mother’s room is over our living room and when I hear her being busy back and forth and drawers and cupboards banging, I know tomorrow she won’t be able to find anything. This is normal. My sister went through this with her mother-in-law so I kind of knew what to expect with our mom but it’s still peculiar to me why she moves things all the time. I thought she was hiding them but she seems to be relocating all the time.
She also can't respect your clothing because she doesn't remember. I'd put a lock on your bedroom door limiting her access to the room. If you don't want her getting into things, limit her access. That way you aren't wasting time and energy looking for things and getting annoyed.
Just remember what she's doing isn't personal to you. It's her dementia.
Being a caregiver to a dementia person is very difficult. Take care of yourself.
If she has cataracts developing her glasses don't have to be as accurate, but her poor sight will impact her behavior. People with diabetes can have their prescription change from day to day if their blood glucose isn't stable.
FYI the magnifiers in the store only work if she is farsighted and has the same prescription in both eyes. That means they will only help about 1/4 of people who need glasses to see. Ask her eye doctor what you can order for her online that will let her see adequately and be easily replaced.
You can put a lock on your closet, however, you could put some of her clothes in your closet and maybe she'll pick out her own. I have an "Oh, Well" attitude, even when my most expensive china cup and saucer got broke, It was a hummingbird. Now, the cup has a story and I look at the cup (repaired) and say "I'll remember this more fondly."
In light of what will happen as the disease progresses - I decided to treasure these moments. Frustrating? Yes at times. I a putting them in perspective and if I get upset I try to do so in private. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. May you blessed
And put a top bolt on your closet door so she can’t open it easily to swipe your clothes. That’s easier for you than a padlock.
When my LO started taking her glasses off and losing them, I was told by multiple people that she was no longer using them, meaning she was no longer reading or watching tv. I don’t know if that’s true.
Not sure what you can do about the clothes short of putting a lock on your door. Which is what I would do.
When Mom was in the AL she used to take clean clothes and put them with the dirty ones. Once I figured out what she was doing I rehung them. Always right on the top of the pile.
Her glasses, one time she left them in an empty room. Another, the hairdresser mixed Moms up with another woman's. I ended up taking pictures of them in case they got lost again.