The house if fully paid off, and in her name only. They have been married 20 years. In their wills, they kept everything separate. So what was hers goes to her kids, and what was his goes to his children. Now that she has to be placed due to dementia, he has informed us that he will be moving out of the house. Now what happens? Can he just walk away leaving us with all the bills?
The Medicaid application process for an individual is very straight forward. Most people can do that with a little help from a competent friend or relative. But applications for married people are far more complicated. Definitely seek the guidance of a lawyer specializing in Elder Law.
Cooperation of the spouse is critical, because his financial information must be submitted to Medicaid when the time comes. He can continue to live in the house until he dies, according to Medicaid rules. Would he want to do that? Would mother want that? There will be a lien on the property to be satisfied after Mom and her spouse die.
Please see the lawyer BEFORE you do anything with the house. It's complicated. Getting it right can save much grief and expense down the road!
Your next call should be to an elder law attorney in your state who can explain the Medicaid eligibility rules to you. You'll then have a better idea of how to approach your stepfather, to explain to him why he can't just "walk away."
It's in everyone's interest to cooperate during this difficult time. Without cooperation and coordination of the Medicaid application process, all parties in this situation can end up with unexpected, costly, and unnecessary problems.