Mom is 87, living independently near Ocala, Floriida. Her deteriorating short-term memory is making independent living unlikely to continue much longer. In the short term, my sister and two brothers and I have specific concern with her driving. She drives a few times a week, a few miles on a familiar route to church and the grocery store that she has been driving for many, many years. Yet, she has had a couple of recent incidents where she got lost. Fortunately, these were resolved without any serious problems, but we have determined it is time for her to give up driving. We know she will be resistant to the idea, so we are trying to layout a plan, probably combination of delivery services to handle groceries and restaurant orders, and a ride service for things like medical appointments.
We want to have this in place before we have the talk with Mom about giving up the car. We really are struggling to find the car service in her area, other than Uber or Lyft which rely on cell phones and apps which she will not be able to use. Please reply if you have thoughts, suggestions, recommendations. I should add that none of us live close to Mom, we are each at least a day’s drive, or a flight away. Thanks.
With my 2 elderly aunts in FL (and me in MN) I arranged for other family, friends, neighbors and church acquaintances to bring and return her to appointments. I gave them gift cards for gas and restaurants so that they could take them out to lunch after the appointments. This took the immediate sting out of losing their license. I could only keep this up for a while until I put caregiving in place. It required management and coordination but worked well in the short term and they really enjoyed it.
Here in MN my former neighbor (who is now in her mid-90s but has all her faculties) has her son in CO arrange for Uber to transport her BUT she has her own mobile phone and knows how to use it and he always makes sure there is someone at each end of the trip to make sure she got in the vehicle and then she had to call him when she arrived home.
It is not moral or ethical to make a ride service responsible for someone with cognitive impairment unless that is a stated part of their service. It is also dangerous and personally I would not do it. Even when my MIL needed a medical transport here in MN we had to accompany her. It may be time to move your mom closer to one of you, since her independence is diminishing anyway, why wait for a full-on crisis and then have to move her under duress?
If your Mom gets lost, then she probably can no longer live alone. I would start looking for a nice Assisted Living that provides transportation. She will get 3 meals a day with snacks. Care according to her needs. She will be safe. Please don't wait till she has a car accident or an accident in her home. My MIL lived below Ocala and and Uncle in Ocala. The one thing he did right was hire a caregiver. My MIL was too stubborn to admit she needed help. Lived too far from her sons for any of us to help. She wouldn't live near us.
If your Mom has Dementia, it will be very hard for her to learn new things. If she can't remember how to get home, what makes you think she will remember to call a transport company to drive her somewhere. The usually need to know in advance about appts.
These are hits I got, but you can vary the parameters, such as transportation in your mother's area" and perhaps get more precise suggestions.
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=transportation
Generally speaking, you can contact the local transit service and determine whether it has "small bus", or "door to door" service. Some Senior Centers contract with a larger transit service and provide shopping and medical transport for their members.
Small bus service in my area used to be about $2 a ride, probably up to around $5 now given that prices are rising quickly in my area.
Small bus services have vans with lift ramps if a wheelchair is involved.
You're wise to address this issue before presenting it to your mother. I would also start providing transit for her when you're in the area, so that she can start becoming accustomed to driving with others. Treat her afterwards (we stopped for Dairy Queens) so she begins to see it as a positive experience.
They can tell you if they have a paratransit program and send an application.
In my city, the bus is available with 24 hour notice and you can buy cab vouchers for a fixed price within so many miles.