Taking care of Dad with dementia, Mom talks about how hard it it. We listen and help as much as we can. Hardest part of helping her is when we offer to one stay with Dad and others take her on an outing like to a movie or visit someone etc. so she can have a break. We ask ahead of time and try to think of things she likes but she typically hems and haws and in the end cannot decide to go. Not a new behavior on her part, but I'm about to give up asking her. Any ideas?
I run into that with my aging parents who still live under their own roof, and me under my own roof.... I am afraid if I go to the movie or order a meal out that the phone will ring and it's Mom saying that Dad fell once again in the back yard trying to do yard work at 93. I am their life line, so to speak.
Although I have no proof, I suspect there may also be the feeling that since she's done it for so long, no one can provide a substitute for her. It's not an issue of being conceited, or thinking that she's replaceable - she's just become so used to it, knows his habits, strengths, and weaknesses, and might be afraid that someone else might not see these and might make some mistakes.
Is there any way you could take your father too?