My mother hasn't slept in a bed for years. She stays up most of the night and sleeps off and on throughout the day. She frequently urinates in her chair, will use the restroom only to come back in her soiled pants to sit back down! She refuses to bath but maybe once every two weeks or so. She can barely walk and when she does its for short periods of time and she's hunched over. She falls often because she has poor balance. My Dad has been caring for her for so many years and she only gets worse as time goes on. She wakes up and frequently doesn't know where she is and has to look around and think about it for a while before she realizes she's at home. All her life she said she would kill herself before going to a nursing home and frequently lately has made threats at her life. She has home health but she only gets 1.5 hours a day 5 days a week. How can we get her help?
There are other options besides nursing homes -- assisted living being one of them. It sounds to me as though both of your parents are living in hell right now. I hope you can take the bull by the horns send get them safe.
I have this picture of your mom being in assisted living and dad and his grandson living a much more normal life. What I don't know is how to get from here to there.