Mom would probably be all right with having someone stay at our house with her when I work overnight, but she complains that they talk too much and keep her awake. She has mid-stage Alzheimer's. I hired a sleepover person a few weeks ago, and she IS very chatty, but its no good if she doesn't know when to shut up and let mom rest. I'd like to hire someone else to stay in the back bedroom of our house, who will only engage with mom if its obvious that she needs help with anything. Someone mom may not even know is there half the time. Mom hates the intrusion, but if the worker just chats with her for a short time and then let's mom be for the rest of the night, that's what would be ideal. Does this sound crazy?
Wanting someone who will just exchange calm, nighttime pleasantries with your mom for a few minutes before your mom goes to sleep should be the norm and does NOT sound crazy. A chatterbox at night is crazy.
OR is it because YOU are not into her and think she is too chatty. maybe get someone else. Tell them the rules and get a baby monitor or one of those camera APPS where you can watch your mom when you are not home :)
Most caregivers talk too much and that is confusing for persons with memory loss, as with your mother.
As a biz owner, I find those hiring a caregiver for the first time are often reluctant to instruct new caregivers about their responsibilites. But caregivers are not mind readers and many would prefer knowing your preferences than not. If you feel uncomfortable speaking directly to the caregiver, then write them down or type them out. Then you can go over the instructions with the caregiver.
Kudos to you for posting your question.
best-ann
Many caregivers have very little formal training although they may have been doing the job for a long time so it is necessary to remind them to make sure medications are actually taken and things like drinks are within reach.
A hidden camera is a very good idea and make sure you leave snacks and drinks for the caregiver. Attention to their needs will get better care of Mom.
My Dad had a very catty Caregiver during one of the shifts, but I don't know if this caregiver was just chatty with me and much quieter when I wasn't there. Caregivers like to ask their patient questions to engage them in conversations, to find out their likes and dislikes, to learn about their past which most elders love to talk about.
I wouldn't even mentioned the talking to the Caregiver [it might not be what your Mom said], but would post a guideline for the caregiver to follow.... such as what time Mom likes to get ready for bed, if she likes to have the TV on before she falls asleep, if she likes the room dark or likes to have a low wattage lamp on, etc.
My Dad had a routine, the Caregiver would help him get up the stairs, Dad would take a shower, then get into his pj's, and would watch TV in bed until he finished the nightly news. After Dad was in bed, the Caregiver would do downstairs to watch TV or read, and since Dad's bedroom was right over the living room the Caregiver could hear the floor creak if Dad got out of bed. Then he/she would go upstairs and ask if Dad needed any help.
Simply tell them. You have hired them to care for your mom doing things the way she is accustom to doing them. As suggested, simply outline the routine and they follow it.
When my Mom was still home and I had to hire homecare, the company (licensed, bonded, insured!) first sent someone out to do an assessment and had the paperwork for developing a Plan of Care that outlines *exactly* what the care giver was responsible for and how they should interact with the client. Overnights are to stay awake during their entire shift. I had them sit (comfortably) outside moms bedroom to monitor and assist, should she wake. They usually brought something to entertain themselves; some would color, some would read, some would watch Netflix with the volume low...
The chatty ones I had to remind, but once I pulled them aside and politely asked them to cool it on the chit-chat, they always apologized and would resume their responsibilities according.
It was no big deal... I think sometimes the caregiver would simply forget that this client (my mom, one of many clients) wasn't chatty. Hope that helps! Overnight homecare was such a blessing when I needed it. Mom is in a memory care facility now.
Unfortunately my bosses wife's Caregiver was feeling so uncomfortable about those cameras that eventually she quit even though she was doing a fantastic job.
My boss wished he had never installed those cameras as his wife refused to bond with any of the new caregivers, and she would keep asking for Julia. It was so sad. He wasn't able to get Julia back, as she didn't trust him. He wishes he didn't listen to his buddies who talked him into using cameras.
I too would like to think paid caregivers would stay awake all night but the truth is that many don't.
If Mom can't summon help consider a bed alarm so that the caregiver is alerted if Mom tries to get out of bed