I still feel guilty for not taking her into my home, even though I am working with a two hour commute both ways, my daughter is autistic and in the process of transitioning to adult services, and my husband has had several operations. She has Parkinson's and auditory hallucinations, and can no longer walk even with a walker. One of the aides made a comment about me not having her home. I don't want to explain my whole life story all the time, but I don't know how I can justify this situation. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Does anyone know how to keep the guilt from overwhelming them and politely tell the aide at the nursing home that it is none of his business?
Guilt is part of caregiving. Sorry. But please don't let it get in the way of doing what is best for your entire family, including you. Just push the guilt to the back of your mind and keep going.
You certainly don't owe anyone justification for your decisions! If it would make you feel better you might consider explaining briefly your situation to the director of nursing or the social worker, so they know what to expect in terms of visits from you, participation in care conferences, etc. Don't be at all apologetic if you take this route. You have nothing to apologize for.
My "snappy comeback" to folks who think i should be caring for my mom at home is " oh, but I want my mom to have professional care and medical supervision".
Whatever comment was made should certainly be reported to this person's supervisor. It was unprofessional, unnecessary and possibly agitating if heard by your mom.