I am exhausted and all I want to do is sleep when I finish caring for my mother's needs which takes the full morning. I then need to clean house, get ready to plan and cook dinner all the while my brother and his selfish wife are living the retirement dream. I am cranky, tired, resentful and short with my mother at times when my body and mind are physically tired.
Mom can "expect" any thing she care to. That doesn't explain why you make the decisions you do.
Yesterday I got an e-mail from my sister telling me all her news and then "oh by the way, how is mom?" You know what I felt like saying. Get your a** to the nursing home and find out. But I stopped myself. It just isn't worth it anymore to me to get into it with my family.
Of course you are tired, actually more likely exhausted. Has your brother indicated at any time he thought Mom should be in a continue care facility instead of living in her own house? If yes, then of course your Mom will want you to care for her 24/7 instead of going into a facility, Mom isn't going to ask your brother to help. It's time for you to finally put your foot down and say enough is enough, time for Mom to go into the next chapter of her life and be around people of her own generation.
One out of every 3 Caregiver passes on leaving behind their loved one. If you pass on, then what? I bet your brother and your son will have Mom in a nursing home where she will probably live for many more years.... and you will be gone
:(