Have a question for a friend that is on a death watch for her mom. Mom is in coma, is only getting a little morphine and has had nothing to eat or drink for 9 days. We know you can live without food but water? We both thought she would be gone by now. She flew up to be with her mom at the drop of a hat due to a phone call from NH thinking she wouldn't even have time to say goodbye or get there in time. Mom is even puzzling hospice. Has anyone else had this happen?
The social worker came to us and said my mom was by all rights ready to go, but that she did not believe everyone who needed to say good bye did. She told me she did not think my father fully understood my mom was dying and my sister flat out said she was not ready to say goodbye. She said it was up to my 15yo granddaughter and I, who had been with my mom day and night for the last 4 days, before that in and out constantly visiting, to say goodbye for them. We did that on the Tuesday even and my mom passed about 5 minutes after my granddaughter and I had left to go pick my dad up for a visit with my mom just before noon on Wednesday.
Tell your friend to make sure everyone who has needed to say good bye has done so. And yes, I have heard as well that they often pass when alone.
I have had alot of experience with family and close friends in hospice.
All that you have described, is part of the process physically, there is still the emoitional process I believe
You need to tell the loved one its ok to rest, to leave this body and all here will be ok with time.
For my Mom I stayed at the nursing home for two full days as Hospice said time was very near. My Mom had also stopped eating and drinking, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Now I found this so fascinating, while channel surfing in the wee hours of the morning I found Mom's favorite movie just starting so I let it play. Within minutes of the movie ending, Mom passed away. Somehow that made it easier for me. The movie was "Smokey & The Bandit".
I told Hospice about the movie, Hospice said it is possible for someone to be in a coma and still hear, thus my Mom waited until the movie was over. Coincidental maybe.
Offer a moistened swab to keep lips and mouth moist.
She is in peace and not in pain.
The best thing your friend can do is just be there hold her hand tell her Mom that she loves her.