My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia in october 2015, but as is the case we are sure she had it much longer before that. In the last 6 months she went from being fairly independent, to now fully incontinent, in bed 85% of the time (other 15% spent in a recliner). She has reached a point where she has NO appetite. She drinks water, and will occasionally have a bite or two of a banana. I can see her wasting away. She sleeps a lot but when she is awake is pretty alert. How much longer can she go on like this? It is heart breaking to watch. My dad died about 2 years ago and had not only COPD but cancer of the esophagus. He wasted away as well before he died since he struggled to eat from the cancer. It is heartbreaking to watch. Has anyone else had a loved one not eat, but still drink water?
You are a treasure to your mom and you're in our thoughts and prayers
I'm so sorry to hear what is happening to your mom. You have a right to be concerned. Please take her to the doctor. And possibly review her care and see if she needs hospice as Jeanne has suggested. Try to access as many community supports as necessary during this difficult time. Its not easy to see our beloved parents get to this stage.
My dad also stopped eating and drinking. I took him to the hospital. He was diagnosed with heart failure. I wish I had known this sooner. I did not realize he was dying. Otherwise I would have tried harder to make him more comfortable at home. But I didn't know how. I should have tried to access hospice care.
Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
Are you considering hospice care for your mother?
You seem very well up on what has been happening with your mother, so I'm sure you'll understand that all aspects of brain function, including appetite, are vulnerable to the vascular dementia.
You could try the ensure/boost, well-chilled, and see if your mother cares for it. My mother enjoyed Actimel, too, which is drinking yoghurt more or less. Your mother is swallowing all right, is she, without difficulty? As long as there is nothing wrong mechanically, offer her favourite treats. Forget balanced diet - whatever she fancies enough to try is all that matters.
I do understand that for you this is both heartbreaking in itself, and a painful reminder of your father's last months. I think the only thing you can do is look at this through your mother's eyes; and if she is content - comfortable, not in pain, not frightened, wanting for nothing - then so must you be.
It is very hard, I know.
If she wants water give it to her otherwise keep her mouth moist with swabs.
This is the hardest time as you watch a loved one in the final stages of life.
Just keep loving her and offer comfort. Tell her you understand how tired she is and reassure her the family will all be OK when she passes. Blessings
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