Anyone's Mom or Dad have really vivid dreams?
Mom has mild dementia. She's 87 years old. Congestive heart failure that see-saws up and down the fluid balance scale. She's very weak, can barely walk, has balance issues, and more. At night she often wakes me up talking in her sleep . . . carrying on real conversations that repeat over and over again. She often addresses her brothers and sister who passed years ago.
Tonight I woke up hearing her talking up a storm to one of her brothers about another brother and whether or not he took some bread. She alternated between swearing he didn't take it to asking him plaintively if he did, to defending him against all comers, to threatening to whoop him if he did. Hahaha!!
Sometimes her conversations are, well, just creepy. They're mostly a loop. Same tune/different verse over and over again for an hour or so. Then she's quiet. Then, it might start up again with something else.
Right now, it's 1:07 AM here; she's been jabbering for 45 minutes about Carl and the bread he did or didn't take. What the heck?? She never remembers these episodes in the morning.
Anyone else experience this?
My mother, in a nursing home, is very close to her time and for the past few months she's been seeing and talking to dogs, cats (always a great animal lover), her mother who passed in 75 and my father who passed 15 years ago. None of these encounters or maybe delusions frighten her. In fact they seem to give her comfort. So long as these dreams or delusions don't frighten her I'd leave her alone. She doesn't remember them anyway.
"delusions that are frequently observed in Alzheimer's patients include beliefs about theft, the patient's house not being his home, a spouse, is an impostor, belief an intruder is in the house, abandonment, spousal infidelity, and paranoia." ~ alzcompend.info
Hallucinations vs. Delusions in Alzheimer's
{quote} It is important that Alzheimer's caregivers understand the difference between a hallucination and a delusion. Each of these symptoms can affect your loved one in different ways:
Delusions.Delusions are false beliefs caused by the deterioration of cognitive processes in the brain of the Alzheimer's patient, and are often influenced by misunderstandings or misinterpretations. Patients might think they are being followed, or might accuse a family member of stealing from them or plotting against them.
Hallucinations. These involve false perceptions, and are also caused by changes in the brain due to Alzheimer's. Patients can literally "sense" - see, hear, smell, taste, or feel - something that isn't there. They might see and talk with old friends who aren't there, or watch ships floating through the sky outside the window, or smell foods they enjoyed as a child. {end quote}
It is difficult for us carers to accept LO's mind is damaged by Alzheimer's Disease. Not only is memory damaged their ability to process thoughts is impaired while awake or dreaming. This is true for all stages, we never know until the damage is revealed
Dad frequently awakens seeing figures in the room, and tells them to "get the h*ll outta here." This morning he said he saw a dog walking on the ceiling. I have asked him if he feels any sort of a sense of danger or ill-will from these visitors, and he says no; he just gets up and goes about his day. So I don't make a big deal out of it.
We mentioned these occurrences during our latest visit with his psychiatrist, who didn't seem concerned, and suggested they might be hallucinations.
What doesn't add up is that he's still of sound mind, balancing his checkbook and doing typical tasks with no problem. He doesn't seem to be "on his way out" so to speak.
My "problem" with mom's vivid dreaming and talking in her sleep is that I wake up on and off through the night listening to her dialogue and then can't get back to sleep. (Well, THAT and sometimes it's a bit creepy.)
I am useless without sleep. Yesterday, I was a walking Zombie. Not crabby with mom - never am - but crabby with Tom who is my Angel Without Wings.
I've solved the problem, though. I am now closing her bedroom door so that I can't hear her. If she cried out for HELP, I think I would. But I'm willing to take the chance that I'd miss that as well. If I'm going to care for mom comprehensively during the day? I simply must get rest. I'm not going to ask myself to do the impossible.
If I get overly stressed, and lack of sleep will do that, the whole pyramid will come tumbling down. We can only do so much.
Thanks again for the great comments. It's wonderful to read that others have experienced the same.
*hugs*
She never wants to admit anything to the neurologist about anything. She just tells him she's doing fine, her memory is great, etc. She'll ask me what the date is because he asks her all the time.
"When I get to old to dream, .... " goes an old song, but it never happens.
My Mother, when in her 90s, had vivid dreams whether she was asleep or awake. Most of them had the character of delusions. But what useful purpose is there in shattering any calm or pleasure those dreams may bring?
If dreams or delusions bring pleasure, however phantastic they may be, leave your Mum alone to enjoy whatever happiness she finds in them.
To do otherwise is unspeakably cruel.
Keep the cat away from her - you're doing neither of them any favours.
Carek, I now close mom's bedroom door so I don't hear her. She'd have to yell pretty loud to wake me, but I'm willing to take that chance since the alternative is Zombie Land next day for me.
TO ALL: It's so WONDERFUL to read others experiences. Thank you all. I'll sleep easier. Ha!
Wolf lover- mom's doctors are all aware of the drinking. Unfortunately due to HIPPA laws there's not much they can do legally in communicating with me. Mom is in such denial & lies about her drinking AND smoking. No need to feel sorry, my situation is indeed quite sad but could be a lot worse. It's just a waiting game until her body shuts down. Sure I could take over with POA but sister & I don't feel it's worth the added aggravation emotion & stress. It's a waiting game with us. The alcohol to med mix causes dizziness & drowsiness but mom doesn't go anywhere or do anything but watch TV all day. She's really just a waste of space. Sorry if this sounds sad & disrespectful but it is what it is and how my sister and I have ended up dealing with her. We've exhausted our efforts trying to make her happy. Like I say, one day at a time.
Take NOTHING personally. It most likely isn't meant that way.
If you drive your MUM to the liquor store then you are her enabler and it is no different than you buying it in for her.
Cutting the liquor will probably - no one can be sure - help her be more reasonable once she has got through the withdrawal phase.
Remember - if you don't enable her, she won't be a boozer. Put your foot down with a firm hand and keep the knives locked up.
Good luck.