An elder care lawyer says since my aunt has been caring for her that now she can’t stop because DHR will charge her with abandonment. I find this hard to believe. I thought social services were there to help. But I was told they will charge you with abandonment then place her somewhere. So how do you get your own health and family taken care of if this is true?
There are a couple of people on this forum who have personal experience with this situation, and I hope they'll see this post and weigh in.
If there was an emergency and your aunt has to leave immediately. I would then call Adult Protective Services because if your mother is alone she is considered in imminent danger. Be prepared for them to ask where you and any other members of the family are located because even they will have a difficult time with placement during the pandemic.
Praying for the best for you your mom and the family
https://bixonlaw.com/elder-abuse-charges-georgia/
Does mom have dementia ???
Have YOU (NOT your Aunt) thought of going to court for a guardianship/conservatorship (whatever term is used in GA)?
When you file and document your concerns, the court MAY, based on behavior or demeanor in court, order an evaluation - - something your mom can't refuse.
She will be served and expected to appear. If she doesn't show, the judge MAY treat it as a default and make an order based on your filing.
My suggestion: don't facilitate her getting ready for court or getting there - - let her get herself ready even if that means being disheveled. If she is able to self-determine going, you can offer to call for transportation that SHE must pay for.
Remember that most actions in court are adversarial - - it will be YOU against HER - - NEVER put her in harm's way, BUT DO NOT HELP if you want to prevail and rescue your Aunt - - competent persons do not typically need help, but incompetent ones are often very resourceful at stimulating others to help them - - something that is definitely not a long-term solution, as can be seen by your Aunt's assistance.
I think the crux of the issue is whether or not your aunt is "responsible" for your mom's care.
If your mom is competent, she is allowed to choose her care or not.
Not that easy if she is determined not competent to make reasonable and effective decisions about her health and/or finances. No one should "walk away" from an incompetent person until other adequate options are put in place.
I believe that would be where to start before anyone leaves incompetent folks on their own.
With children, it is abandonment. I know someone who was having trouble in her marriage. She told her husband that she was leaving for a few days. She was gone for three days.
She had three young kids under 12. He took her to court and pressed charges of abandonment and he got full custody of the children.
Maybe call Office of Aging and run things by them. Ask if they can send someone out to explain to Mom what resources are out there for her.
mom to accept help or what?