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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Assuming she's in a care home? Nothing. They would have seen worse. They would deal with it and forget it happened. They should have not told you about it that's too much detail. They are used to these situations, you are not. You don't have to say anything. That's why she's in there in the first place so this doesn't happen at home.
Is mom still in your home? Sadly this does happen Men in mom's memory care just stand and pee or if an office is open they go take a potty break I notice mom is now having trouble wiping herself and throwing the TP in the toilet
Don't say anything to your mother, not if you can possibly stop yourself anyway. She isn't able to learn anything from anything you can say, and all she will pick up from what you're telling her is that she's done something wrong, something she should feel bad about, without really understanding what happened.
Key thing, from your point of view, is to prevent a repetition. I'm guessing your mother is still mobile, seeing as she got herself to the dining chair? In that case, one strategy you could try is signposting: print off big, bold signs with arrows pointing to "BATHROOM" and place them at her eye level along the route. I also used coloured duct tape on the floor for my mother to follow from her easy chair to the bathroom, that helped for a while. Note: don't put anything on the floor that is slippery, or isn't very firmly stuck down - you don't want to create a slip or trip hazard.
If that doesn't work, or stops working, you could try making a bathroom routine for her: help her to transfer as often as you think appropriate, and that way even if there are further accidents at least the volume of "accident" will be limited.
You might need to remove or cover any furniture you're terribly fond of. And you can buy amazingly absorbent, washable pads - there's a wide range on the market, if you look them up under 'continence care.'
Really great answers & suggestions here...if I could add one thing: Sense of humor! Honey - try to joke and laugh about it with Mom. These are very hard times for we children of the elderly - if we don't try to temper the worry and work with a little humor the load will build up WAY past heavy. Good luck & God bless.
People with dementia often do all kinds of things that may seem out of the ordinary, but, it's not that odd really. I don't find it strange at all for a person who has dementia.
If she was at a friend's house, then I'd explain to the friend that mom has dementia and offer to pay for cleaning. If she's in a facility, they see this and worse all the time. No words are needed, except I'd discuss her toileting habits and plans to keep her clean. I wouldn't say one word to her about it, as if she did that, she is not able to process why it was inappropriate and she likely has forgotten about it. There's no way she will learn anything from it. The only way to prevent it in the future is to constantly supervise her and direct her to the bathroom. If it becomes a continuing problem, I'd explore the adult onesies that button in the back and they can't take their pants down.
There are some great videos on You Tube called Teepa Show on Dementia. They cover a host of issues with dementia. I have found them quite informative. I'd check them out. It'll make you feel better about this.
Stock up on a lot of "blue medical sheets". The sheets will help gather any bathroom oops. Put the sheets on all the dining room chairs, on the sofa, or any other seats your Mom might use.
You can first try doggie wee wee pads, as those are very similar, to see if they work. Then search the internet for more affordable blue medical sheets.
I use to order from a company that sold "seconds" meaning the sheets didn't look top quality but still worked. For me, the sheets were a godsend for a 21 year old cat that had dementia.
And I would also use those sheets when my very elderly parents came over to visit, the sheets were placed under the large towel I had on the sofa, so my parents didn't see them.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is Mom aware that this was inappropriate? What was her reaction?
Men in mom's memory care just stand and pee or if an office is open they go take a potty break
I notice mom is now having trouble wiping herself and throwing the TP in the toilet
Hope your chair can be cleaned
Key thing, from your point of view, is to prevent a repetition. I'm guessing your mother is still mobile, seeing as she got herself to the dining chair? In that case, one strategy you could try is signposting: print off big, bold signs with arrows pointing to "BATHROOM" and place them at her eye level along the route. I also used coloured duct tape on the floor for my mother to follow from her easy chair to the bathroom, that helped for a while. Note: don't put anything on the floor that is slippery, or isn't very firmly stuck down - you don't want to create a slip or trip hazard.
If that doesn't work, or stops working, you could try making a bathroom routine for her: help her to transfer as often as you think appropriate, and that way even if there are further accidents at least the volume of "accident" will be limited.
You might need to remove or cover any furniture you're terribly fond of. And you can buy amazingly absorbent, washable pads - there's a wide range on the market, if you look them up under 'continence care.'
If she was at a friend's house, then I'd explain to the friend that mom has dementia and offer to pay for cleaning. If she's in a facility, they see this and worse all the time. No words are needed, except I'd discuss her toileting habits and plans to keep her clean. I wouldn't say one word to her about it, as if she did that, she is not able to process why it was inappropriate and she likely has forgotten about it. There's no way she will learn anything from it. The only way to prevent it in the future is to constantly supervise her and direct her to the bathroom. If it becomes a continuing problem, I'd explore the adult onesies that button in the back and they can't take their pants down.
There are some great videos on You Tube called Teepa Show on Dementia. They cover a host of issues with dementia. I have found them quite informative. I'd check them out. It'll make you feel better about this.
You can first try doggie wee wee pads, as those are very similar, to see if they work. Then search the internet for more affordable blue medical sheets.
I use to order from a company that sold "seconds" meaning the sheets didn't look top quality but still worked. For me, the sheets were a godsend for a 21 year old cat that had dementia.
And I would also use those sheets when my very elderly parents came over to visit, the sheets were placed under the large towel I had on the sofa, so my parents didn't see them.