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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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It is a little hard to use "normal" and "dementia" in the same sentence, but, yes, this is fairly typical behavior for someone who has dementia.
Should you stop visiting for a while and let her settle in? Should you increase your visiting to reassure her? I really don't think there is empirical evidence either way. You might try asking the doctor who treats her dementia, if he or she knows your Mom well.
My mom did not express paranoia and anger, but she was anxious and did not sleep when she first went to the NH. My sisters and I went the visit-her-often route. I even stayed over night with her many times, to try to figure out what was going on with the sleep problems. She would be nervous and anxious when we were leaving, and she tried to get us to stay.
This is Mom's 10th month at the NH. She goes to all kinds of activities we never thought she'd like. She doesn't need us to encourage her to attend. She takes showers willingly (which she never did for us.) She is happy to see us when we visit, but she isn't disturbed when we leave.
Somehow she has lost the anxiety of being in a strange place with unfamiliar people. She is relaxed and content.
She got there with frequent visiting and support from us. Might she have gotten there even faster if we'd left her alone for awhile? Who the heck knows? I have never seen a study or any evidence about this subject.
Personally, I think IF THE PERSON HAS DEMENTIA that it is best not to let them feel abandoned and not to leave them alone too long while they are getting used to a new place. But that is personal opinion, pure and simple. I have not a shred of proof. It worked for us.
Paranoia & false beliefs are a part of dementia. Medication can help & the NH will schedule a care plan meeting maybe within the first 30 or 60 days to discuss her adjustment to all this. You want to be able to make a list of what she says as it can be telling as to what triggers "poisioning"
For my mom, she was always bring robbed ( shoes & eyeglasses mainly) & bring poisioned too. If she had rice or mashed potatoes, it would be poisioned. Here is what triggered that, nursing staff mixes their medications into yogurt or vanilla pudding as easier to swallow ( mom has scar tissue in throat) well she sees staff do this = visual cue; then fear exacerbated by dementia = white food is poisioned.
Also the smell in the dining room may trigger an "alarm" that something is wrong. Actually the overall smell in a nh like in a hospital is awful to me & i can leave! If mom is the heighten smell sensory type, you may want to put in a couple of odor releasing thingys in her room. I'd speak with her roommates family as everbody needs to be all kumbaya in this. If you pay for this, they should be quite happy. For my mom, I got renuzit 6 packs at Costco which I replace everytime I come in so every 2 - 3 months. I do think smelling a calming ( lavender) or happy memory smell (gingerbread) helps better their day.
Have you placed familiar things in her room? For my mom, I schlepped this big green porcelain 1950's lamp now from her home to IL and 2 NHs. Ugly lamp too, but it is a touchstone for her as she woke up every day to that lamp next to her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Should you stop visiting for a while and let her settle in? Should you increase your visiting to reassure her? I really don't think there is empirical evidence either way. You might try asking the doctor who treats her dementia, if he or she knows your Mom well.
My mom did not express paranoia and anger, but she was anxious and did not sleep when she first went to the NH. My sisters and I went the visit-her-often route. I even stayed over night with her many times, to try to figure out what was going on with the sleep problems. She would be nervous and anxious when we were leaving, and she tried to get us to stay.
This is Mom's 10th month at the NH. She goes to all kinds of activities we never thought she'd like. She doesn't need us to encourage her to attend. She takes showers willingly (which she never did for us.) She is happy to see us when we visit, but she isn't disturbed when we leave.
Somehow she has lost the anxiety of being in a strange place with unfamiliar people. She is relaxed and content.
She got there with frequent visiting and support from us. Might she have gotten there even faster if we'd left her alone for awhile? Who the heck knows? I have never seen a study or any evidence about this subject.
Personally, I think IF THE PERSON HAS DEMENTIA that it is best not to let them feel abandoned and not to leave them alone too long while they are getting used to a new place. But that is personal opinion, pure and simple. I have not a shred of proof. It worked for us.
For my mom, she was always bring robbed ( shoes & eyeglasses mainly) & bring poisioned too. If she had rice or mashed potatoes, it would be poisioned. Here is what triggered that, nursing staff mixes their medications into yogurt or vanilla pudding as easier to swallow ( mom has scar tissue in throat) well she sees staff do this = visual cue; then fear exacerbated by dementia = white food is poisioned.
Also the smell in the dining room may trigger an "alarm" that something is wrong. Actually the overall smell in a nh like in a hospital is awful to me & i can leave! If mom is the heighten smell sensory type, you may want to put in a couple of odor releasing thingys in her room. I'd speak with her roommates family as everbody needs to be all kumbaya in this. If you pay for this, they should be quite happy. For my mom, I got renuzit 6 packs at Costco which I replace everytime I come in so every 2 - 3 months. I do think smelling a calming ( lavender) or happy memory smell (gingerbread) helps better their day.
Have you placed familiar things in her room? For my mom, I schlepped this big green porcelain 1950's lamp now from her home to IL and 2 NHs. Ugly lamp too, but it is a touchstone for her as she woke up every day to that lamp next to her.