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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Interesting comment to worry about getting in legal trouble if elder smells. During a recent rehab stint, my uncle was inconvenienced several times, especially after midnight, and had to sit in a poop and/or urine soaked bed for quite some time before an aide would come to his room and help him (he is legally blind and required help to the bathroom). I finally hit the roof and complained to the nursing administrator. I said it was rather interesting that if I neglected my elder at home in that manner, that any neighbor or relative could report me to APS, but rehabs and nursing homes get away with this kind of neglect all the time with no repercussions!! The fact of the matter is that some of the late night shift aides sit around watching TV, playing on their IPODs or falling asleep on the job! In your case, Angel, your are certtaianly not neglectful of your Mom, so no worries - this is simply typical behavior as elders progress in their physical and mental infirmities. Further, I don't think any of us here could be accused of neglect, or we would not bother subscribing to this site and asking eachother for advice and support. That's why we are called "CARE"givers.
She does let us change her sheets and she changes her clothes, I have put baby wipes in her bathroom. She will wear depends but sometimes she dont like to. So I replaced her underwear with depends. We are doing our best she will bath about once a week. Thanks for all your advice.
Back to the bathing problem. As a caregiver in a facility, we have found that the direct approach is the best. "We need to give you a shower, Mrs......, as you are walking there is an odor coming from you.. You know, we girls,have to be squeaky clean." Don't ask..."do you want to shower or how about a shower..." "It's shower time."
Oh, well I most definitely and whole heartedly concur with Jinx! No doubt about it, PLAY ON! I was only defining playing vs. shaking it dry. *wicked grin* Hope you have a playmate in your sandbox. I'm getting ready to go to Texas and visit mine. *does happy dance*
Not caring or wanting to bathe is also a sign of depression. Been there done that. Anyone ever had one of those depressions where you sat on the couch in your bathrobe for days or weeks on end, until the couch developed a dent? Only getting out of bed in the morning because you knew you owed it to your children to do so.
I thought of something else after I got offline and went to bed last night; if the smell of urine is very strong she is not drinking enough water. She may be dehydrated, which can create conditions perfect for UTI.
Bathing is an issue and we as caregivers are the ones who have to keep our parents clean. I worry if mom is not clean when she goes to her doctors especially. It would take one time for them to think I wasn't taking good care of her and we would have some major problems. She always has a shower when she goes out, but tell her cleaning up is good for just sitting around the house. I do check and see if she is cleaning well enough though, UTI is a common problem.
Bathing seems to be an issue with aging parents, my best friend's mother would fight her to bath. My mom use to bath once a week and she will give me a hard time if she is not in the mood.
I am pretty direct with my mom, if she smells I give her a dishpan with hot water, soap, wash rag and towel. Then I tell her that she stinks and needs to bath. She makes faces but she also knows I won't give her clothes until she does.
My husband doesn't have dementia or alzheimers yet and he smells like pee. It's a real touchy subject too, he won't discuss it without fireworks. He can't smell it, so to him it doesn't exist. So glad I moved out!. He doesn't like to do laundry, he will wear the same clothes and underwear for days, and he showers about once a week. I did finally get him to accept that he did not smell good and now he will wear clean clothes and shower before going anywhere with any of us, or if his daughter comes down. I also taught him to use 3 to 4 cups of white vinegar in each load of laundry. In the wash not the rinse cycle. He doesn't do laundry often, but at least it gets clean when he does.
Now that we have covered that, WHY does she smell like pee? It's more common in men because if they don't give their penis a good couple of shakes after urinating, the urine continues to dribble a bit. Women use toilet paper and because they take time to wipe, generally there is not a dribble. Is your mom having accidents? Does she have some leakage between bathroom visits? Does she have a UTI? A visit to the doctor might be in order. If it's only a hygiene problem the doctor can discuss it with her better than you can, and then you can provide her with flushable wipes.
As far as legal trouble, I don't think that's a problem. Otherwise 90% of nursing homes would have been closed down decades ago, ROFL!
No. If she is otherwise healthy, I don't see you getting into any trouble. Does she allow you to wash her clothes? Will she wear Depends? Maybe she would agree to washing up with a baby wipe.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In your case, Angel, your are certtaianly not neglectful of your Mom, so no worries - this is simply typical behavior as elders progress in their physical and mental infirmities. Further, I don't think any of us here could be accused of neglect, or we would not bother subscribing to this site and asking eachother for advice and support. That's why we are called "CARE"givers.
:D
I thought of something else after I got offline and went to bed last night; if the smell of urine is very strong she is not drinking enough water. She may be dehydrated, which can create conditions perfect for UTI.
I am pretty direct with my mom, if she smells I give her a dishpan with hot water, soap, wash rag and towel. Then I tell her that she stinks and needs to bath. She makes faces but she also knows I won't give her clothes until she does.
Now that we have covered that, WHY does she smell like pee? It's more common in men because if they don't give their penis a good couple of shakes after urinating, the urine continues to dribble a bit. Women use toilet paper and because they take time to wipe, generally there is not a dribble. Is your mom having accidents? Does she have some leakage between bathroom visits? Does she have a UTI? A visit to the doctor might be in order. If it's only a hygiene problem the doctor can discuss it with her better than you can, and then you can provide her with flushable wipes.
As far as legal trouble, I don't think that's a problem. Otherwise 90% of nursing homes would have been closed down decades ago, ROFL!