I had my mom, who lives in an independent care facility, spend the night because we had an early doctor's appt the next day. When I took her back to her place, I thought I'd unpack her little overnight bag. She had "stolen" a hair dryer, box of kleenex (her obsession), a glass and a pair of my flip flops. When I asked her why, she first said because they were hers, then she said she thought I had enough stuff and she figured she'd take what she wanted. I was blown away. Is this normal? She has not been diagnosed with dementia but has had a minor TIA.
It's also possible she has some resentment against you if you're the one who placed her there and took your things because of this.
How long has she been in independent living? Did she want to go there or prefer to live with you? Is this the first time this has happened? Aside from the kleenex (a constant companion for older folks), has she ever asked for these things because she needed them?
Are there other family members who visit?
Perhaps you can ask her what she needs so you can take her shopping for supplies, or get them yourself. Provide a notepad and pen so she can write them down.
lblack ,
im betting in the past you have taken things from your moms house many times because you knew it was ok , felt free to take it , mom has six of these , ill grab one of these to save stopping at the store, etc ..
i just dont find your mothers actions all that odd . i have friends who might lose a handfull of bolts if i need them when theyre not at home . im not a thief, just needed bolts worse than my friend at the moment ..
hope that helps clarify what im saying ..
If she still visits in others' homes or shops with you in stores, keep an eye on her and find some pretext to check her purse before leaving. It isn't that your mother has suddenly become a criminal. Her inhibitions are lowered and she confuses the fantasy of wanting something with the reality of having it.
If Mom is entering into dementia, you'll have a lot of surprises to get used to. Try to take them in stride. Learn to correct things without making Mom feeling terrible. She is not likely to remember your lectures but she will remember how you make her feel.