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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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My mother fell NINETY FIVE TIMES while living in Assisted Living and Memory Care Assisted Living over a period of 8 years. It wasn't "elder abuse" and most of the times, the falls were not witnessed. Falling out of bed is VERY common for an elder, especially with dementia.
Again, you are trying to build a case against your sibling for "elder abuse" you'll need to speak to an elder care attorney for guidance. Or call APS to investigate the situation at your sisters home, which will further alienate her from you.
Putting a question entirely into a header w/o details makes it pretty tough for us to give you decent comments.
If you do not think your mother is safe you can report to the Elder Abuse number in your State and they will investigate. Is your sister POA? If you do not think she is doing a proper job, if you do not think she is properly caring for mom you could petition to become your mom's Guardian. this would mean going to court. It would mean having to prove that your sister is not doing what she should be doing. And you may need to prove your mom is not safe. This will RUIN any relationship you have with your sister and your niece and any other family members that align with her in this matter.
I would take a deep breath and speak to them together.
I am sure the trauma of being present during such a severe injury has scrambled some memories for both of them. Not to mention that we all experience and perceive situations entirely personally, meaning varying stories from all present.
Unless you have reason to believe that she is being harmed intentionally, give them the benefit of understanding how awful this was for them and that you aren't looking to place responsibility on them. Because the truth is, old people fall and break bones but, bones will spontaneously break and cause a fall, nobody is to blame, it's life.
Sabrina, this is your forth post to us in a 24 hour period. Each post gives us a tiny piece of the puzzle. For those with difficulty putting puzzles together it is difficult to advise you. You are clearly at war with the sibling and Niece who your MOTHER CHOSE as her POA. They will not currently let you even visit nor give you any medical information, and unless they are the epitome of EVIL (I doubt that) there is a reason for that. I can only guess that you are causing disruption in this rather than trying to help in their care of your Mom.
I honestly think that no Forum can properly guess at what is actually happening here, but the manner of your postings to us has caused me to attempt to do so. I would suggest that you see an elder law attorney to help you with options moving forward. You may also, if you suspect abuse as you indicated in other postings, give said proof to APS and ask them to investigate for you.
When families divide over the care of an incompetent senior it is a cruel thing. This senior, while at her most vulnerable and helpless has a family at war, rather than joined in her care. I hope all will now make an attempt to act in an adult manner, at least for the duration that the senior must endure.
I read ur other posts. It seems there is some dysfunction in your family. Why was a grandchild made POA over one of Moms own children? And why is a grandchild caring for her grandmother and not one of the children. If the children cannot care for Mom, which is OK, why is Mom not in a care facility? See, I don't think grands should be caring for grandparents when there are children.
As I answered in one of your posts, POAs are not obligated to give out any info concerning the principle. Especially financially. But, unless for some reason you and your siblings upset Mom, a POA has not right to keep Moms children away.
What you need to do is call APS. Tell them you are not allowed to see Mom. Maybe they will investigate the situation. If they don't help, then you all need to get together and hire a lawyer. We as a forum can point you in the right direction but cannot solve a dysfunctional family problem.
"I am concerned about my Mother. She is living with my younger sibling, and she has made it very difficult for us, the other siblings, to see our Mom. We are trying to figure out a way to see her."
This is the poster whose niece has POA and cannot speak to mom's doctor.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Again, you are trying to build a case against your sibling for "elder abuse" you'll need to speak to an elder care attorney for guidance. Or call APS to investigate the situation at your sisters home, which will further alienate her from you.
Putting a question entirely into a header w/o details makes it pretty tough for us to give you decent comments.
Where is your Mother now?
Is your sister POA?
If you do not think she is doing a proper job, if you do not think she is properly caring for mom you could petition to become your mom's Guardian. this would mean going to court. It would mean having to prove that your sister is not doing what she should be doing. And you may need to prove your mom is not safe.
This will RUIN any relationship you have with your sister and your niece and any other family members that align with her in this matter.
I am sure the trauma of being present during such a severe injury has scrambled some memories for both of them. Not to mention that we all experience and perceive situations entirely personally, meaning varying stories from all present.
Unless you have reason to believe that she is being harmed intentionally, give them the benefit of understanding how awful this was for them and that you aren't looking to place responsibility on them. Because the truth is, old people fall and break bones but, bones will spontaneously break and cause a fall, nobody is to blame, it's life.
Each post gives us a tiny piece of the puzzle.
For those with difficulty putting puzzles together it is difficult to advise you.
You are clearly at war with the sibling and Niece who your MOTHER CHOSE as her POA.
They will not currently let you even visit nor give you any medical information, and unless they are the epitome of EVIL (I doubt that) there is a reason for that.
I can only guess that you are causing disruption in this rather than trying to help in their care of your Mom.
I honestly think that no Forum can properly guess at what is actually happening here, but the manner of your postings to us has caused me to attempt to do so.
I would suggest that you see an elder law attorney to help you with options moving forward.
You may also, if you suspect abuse as you indicated in other postings, give said proof to APS and ask them to investigate for you.
When families divide over the care of an incompetent senior it is a cruel thing. This senior, while at her most vulnerable and helpless has a family at war, rather than joined in her care. I hope all will now make an attempt to act in an adult manner, at least for the duration that the senior must endure.
As I answered in one of your posts, POAs are not obligated to give out any info concerning the principle. Especially financially. But, unless for some reason you and your siblings upset Mom, a POA has not right to keep Moms children away.
What you need to do is call APS. Tell them you are not allowed to see Mom. Maybe they will investigate the situation. If they don't help, then you all need to get together and hire a lawyer. We as a forum can point you in the right direction but cannot solve a dysfunctional family problem.
"I am concerned about my Mother. She is living with my younger sibling, and she has made it very difficult for us, the other siblings, to see our Mom. We are trying to figure out a way to see her."
This is the poster whose niece has POA and cannot speak to mom's doctor.