Obviously, good jewelry is a no-brainer. Someone told me to get mom some costume jewelry that looks like her jewelry. Of course, I can bring her real jewelry to her to wear when I visit and bring it back home with me. I did an inventory of mom's stuff (lives with me) and I want to make her "new home" cozy with reminders of family and her things she's had since she lived on her own. But I don't want to send anything that might "grow legs" and walk away if you know what I mean. The center is very nice but having been the victim of theft (years ago but you never forget it) I know it happens......
At our small ALF in south FL, we pay musicians, not because it's fun or we have the extra money, but because we See how it Works. Music and smells are very Tied to memory. Think about apple pie, cinnamon, vanilla, pine needles, all the smells of Christmas, of Home.... And the Songs we grew up, fell in love, raised our babies to. They will always bring us joy, for we were young when we used to hear and sing them. And there is so much now in the way of "brain music" to calm and comfort the elderly as well. We put that on at night to get our residents off to bed in a good mood, and chirping birds in the am, gradually increasing in volume with soft rain and music begins somewhere in there, as the mind wakes up enough to perceive each sound, and they come smiling to the breakfast table.
Definitely her own bedspread, it's Comforting, Familiar, but maybe have a talk with the management, that they can take it off in the evening, leaving a tougher blanket/cover on in case of incontinence, so that favorite quilt can last longer, instead of washing it to death. We have rules and we Do that stuff already, but we are small and we Know each of our residents personally. It's hard in a big place for the resident and management - with much less attention to detail.
Yes, photos, in fact a flip book of them is good, or one of those "rolodex" type things for pictures. And I've had good results with the digital frames, because the photo changes, and they get to see all the photos without having to get them all out and pack them up again. Few things get them smiling like music and photos.
I think the elderly spend entirely too much time watching tv, it rots the mind.
If it's not good for our kids, it's sure not good for our folks. We've cut our tv time way back, with more music, activities and socializing bringing wonderful results!
I would be fine if my mom didn't have a tv in her room, but that's me.
She should take things to Do, books to read, yarn for crochet or knitting, stuff that will help her feel good, and talk to them about having someone encourage her and remind her to keep active with hobbies.
Oh, if she's wearing pullups so much the better. Some people feel they have to send 'regular' underwear, so that mom doesn't "realize" she is incontinent...
That's a struggle for the ALF. I just tell them I wear that kind too, "just in case" and then we ditch the regular panties.
TV.
By all means, ask her what she would like to select and take and whats most important to her. You can also shop together for something special - a new quilt or pillowcase perhaps.
I think some places will even let you paint a wall as long as you repaint when she leaves.
Good Luck.