For about 4 months I've had a couple of carers help my mom during the day. They visit which is great and mom appreciates, but I could really use their help in getting mom's house in order. ie, do some overall cleaning, help set the kitchen back up so its usable (we had to take everything out due to mice, then also to take cookinh possibilities out of the picture). Even going out to but a hot water kettle to make tea there would be one less thing i have to do. I feel like they are there, but I'm still doing so much to manage the household. Mom thinks its the neighbor comes to pay a visit, so doesn't want to bother them, or doesnt understand why the neighbor would do that. Trying to figure out how the carer can help mom at end of day w bedtime routine ao im not so atretched. Mom says she's fine and can go to bed by herself. Any ideas?
first I chat with her for 15 minutes or so. Then I say that her son asked me to do wash the dishes, make her lunch, etc. Then I ask her permission to do these tasks. She always says yes because she loves her son so much.
After I do my light housekeeping tasks, we go to Starbucks for 30 mins. Then I make lunch, clean-up and leave.
I use her son as the reason that I am doing work.
It easy to overlook what makes them happy or makes them tick in the rush to get something accomplished.
In this case, you need to be direct with the caregivers or write out their responsibilities. Make a new checklist for each day and then see what they did do and did not do. If you do this, you will have a record of their performance. However make sure your expectations are relatistic. Good luck
They are supposed to know how to deal with that kind of thing, it is what they do for a living after all.
I would have a talk with them and detail exactly what it is you hired them to do, emphasizing that its not OK for them to sit down and have tea and a chat when they are supposed to be doing chores to help you.
Make a daily list of what tasks you want done on that particu blar day or evening and go through the list with the helper. You will find that the helpers abide by those lists - no fuss nor hard feelings.
If your Mom wants to go to bed by herself. (Going to bed in her day clothes etc), just let her do it. It won't harm her and will save you from the stress of doing it all yourself.
When the helper arrives, each day "introduce" them to your Mom. "Mom, this is.... who is coming to help us with the cleaning and cooking so You and I can have a bit of a rest." This way, she'll know it's neither a friend nor a neighbor.
Then never mind about the cup of tea. You can always make one for you and your Mom when they've gone after finishing the tasks on your list.
All the best!
Charlotte
My suggestion is for you and the caregiver to tell mom CG wants to help YOU by doing some light cleaning, laundry, cooking and whatever else. Some reason like CG lost her mom and enjoyed helping her and misses it so. That worked with my mom.
Be careful on how much you ask CG to do. In my area they will do LIGHT cleaning. This does not include disinfecting cupboards, dishes and whatever else may now be contaminated. This is a big and difficult and time consuming job that I would have professionals do. If CG would do it would you be satisfied with the job done? If CG is good with mom be careful how you threat them. If pushed too hard you will find yourself looking for CG again which I am sure you do not want to do.
After all isn't the CG's job to first care for mom? She can get mom involved in helping to clean cook and do laundry type things. But, that is where a CG responsibilities end.
Mom has a lady on Saturday's for 2 hours to aid in bathing, dressing, bed making, etc. She has started complaining that after she is bathed and dressed the CG then wants to sit on the couch next to her and visit while mom would rather read the newspaper. At this point, I stepped in and called the agency and let them know that I need her to continue her daily tasks of trash and stripping and changing the bed sheets - activities that I do not wish my mother involved with. It took me forever to get her to turn loose of the activity for fear someone would not put the top sheet on just so-so or take the trash to the correct dumpster - so I definitely don't want to have to start over at square one! LOL
Anyway, just be aware that some agencies actually have "socialization" as a paid task, so you might just make sure they don't think this is what they are there for!
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