Grand daughter lives 3 hrs away and works. Mom thinks she is coming every nite and spending the nite. Some nites she says she is there and in the bed asleep when we all know she is not. Some nites mom sits up waiting on her. No one can convince her that she is not coming. Granddaughter has tried telling her she has to work and cant drive 3 hrs to work every day. Mom still thinks shes coming and will wait up for her all nite. HELP!
Last night my mother came jetting into the kitchen after she had gone to bed and said she had lost her ring from her finger and wanted to find it. I asked what ring and she explained it......that ring was lost either in our yard or at the grocery store about 20 years ago. She KNEW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT SHE WAS WEARING THAT RING EARLIER IN THE EVENING! Today there is no mention of the ring.
If Mom has to stay in bed because Granddaughter is there (in her delusion) is that so bad? And if it is necessary for her to get up now, tell her that GD can stay in bed alone and get up when she wants to, and that Mom can get up without her.
You are not going to convince her that Granddaughter isn't coming, or wasn't there, or isn't still in bed. Go along with her belief, and encourage her to go to bed or get up or whatever is appropriate anyway.
This kind of delusion is common in dementia, but can occur for other reasons, too.
The first signs we had were the random stories. She would tell me sometimes that she was still in WA state, when she was in UT...and would fight to the death about it. After that, she had some hallucinations and a lot of "time travel" (she would think she was still married, or that I was 5 yrs old?). We have gone downhill since the hallucinations and random periods of her life.
I wouldn't waste my breath trying to tell her GD is not coming down or staying there over night. (I've tried to reason with my own mother and it just leads to me getting angry/frustrated...yet she never changes her mind) I wouldn't worry too much about her staying awake all night in a nursing home, if it becomes a serious "she's NEVER sleeping problem" - either her body will force her to sleep OR the nursing home can medicate her.
I would TRY to talk to her, but good luck since it seems you already tried to talk to her. (IMO, if it were my mother...I'd let her do her thing until she "got over it" and let it go)
Hope something suggested here by others helps.... I know how frustrating it can be...... but trying to 'convince' her is never going to work.... she doesn't see it that way.... let us know if anything helps...
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