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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
The way she watches everyone that comes in is very frustrating. I have her every other week. I try to do the housework and things I know she likes, but these little things gets to me.
Our mom is just the opposite, wants to carry a checkbook and lots of cash, but has no idea how to handle it safely. She is in Assisted Living and has no need for more than $40 at any one time. We give her singles so it looks like a big chunk of money.
Paranoia is very common in people with dementia. My dad used to think people were stealing his clothes. We have to find that fine line between buying into the paranoia ("who's stealing from you!?") and dismissing it outright ("Oh hush, no one is stealing from you for heaven's sake!").
Im2bizzy, they do indeed gorge on those TV stories - and then take individuals they encounter on complete trust. My mother got a classic phishing email - Nigerian nurse needed cash to complete her studies, please help - and not only swallowed it hook, line and sinker herself but also passed it on to her sister, a doctor, who rather sweetly wanted the girl's postal address so that she could send her a cheque and was puzzled when no such address was provided.
Both of these ladies were graduates. Both were managing their own finances at the time. My mother, at least, was an experienced internet user. It never even crossed their minds that the "nurse's" story might not be 100% true.
I digress, though. What I meant to say when I saw the headline of the post is that as a rule of thumb, if an elder makes a complaint, it may well be the elder being daffy but it can never hurt to check. Make sure things aren't mysteriously going missing before you assume she's imagining it. Clearly that doesn't apply to susie56 herself, but in other situations "just because you're paranoid…"
Pamstegman - we had to do the same thing with my ex-husband's father when they moved in with us due to his terminal cancer. Towards the end, his mind was very bad due to lack of oxygen to the brain, so there were all sorts of accusations of theft, prostitution (me), alienation of affection (my "putting a spell on" his wife so she wouldn't pay attention to him), etc. He was very controlling in his younger years, and never allowed his wife to handle the checkbook or money - he would dole out grocery money each week, and that's all she was allowed to have. We had to finally stop that, because he wouldn't give us money to pay the co-pay on his meds or medical bills, which became a problem. We finally started giving him a bank envelope to keep in his shirt pocket (his normal practice was to keep all money in there) with several ones, a couple of 5's and a twenty or ten...it worked. He just needed to feel like he was in control of the money. Same thing with the beer - he wanted a beer one night, but because of the meds he was on, that would have been dangerous - so I suggested we give him a non-alcoholic beer - - that worked too. Gave him the taste of beer without the alcohol and didn't affect his meds.
My parents also have a trust issue where they think someone might steal something from them. This started back in the 1970's when a dividend check was taken from their mailbox.
Even when I take their car in to get a State inspection, they have to empty the inside of the car of everything, like who in the world would want what they have in their car. It's somewhat comical.
Any workmen who comes over, my parents are hovering over watching like a hawk.
Older people feed on crime news coverage like piranhas, believing they are potential prey for every bad guy out there. That's why they live barricaded in their houses. How about when your turn arrives each time, you make a big point of going through her purse with her to count her money, check every window and door to show her they are secure, and basically create a show for her to reassure the security of her situation. If you can get her to quit watching TV news all day, that might help, too.
My mother loves negative news stories, but seems to trust everyone, and believes all the "sob stories." She doesn't trust me though! And she made me her POA, I handle everything financial for her now. It stinks having all the responsibility and getting none of the trust. I have spotless records of all transactions, EVERYthing is completely transparent and legit, not just because it's the proper way to handle things, but because I may need to cover my own a-- at some point.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Both of these ladies were graduates. Both were managing their own finances at the time. My mother, at least, was an experienced internet user. It never even crossed their minds that the "nurse's" story might not be 100% true.
I digress, though. What I meant to say when I saw the headline of the post is that as a rule of thumb, if an elder makes a complaint, it may well be the elder being daffy but it can never hurt to check. Make sure things aren't mysteriously going missing before you assume she's imagining it. Clearly that doesn't apply to susie56 herself, but in other situations "just because you're paranoid…"
Even when I take their car in to get a State inspection, they have to empty the inside of the car of everything, like who in the world would want what they have in their car. It's somewhat comical.
Any workmen who comes over, my parents are hovering over watching like a hawk.