On 12/24/15, Police Swat team broke into Mom's house in Boca Raton , FL, took her screaming to the hospital which called me until March 2016 court date to approve any treatment, As the oldest living son ,( I am in NY ) last March I went to court in Del Ray Beach FL., to determine her competency ruled some dementia / incompetent, younger brother had been with her, was charged with abuse / neglect ( she did not take her Synthroid for 6-8 months), brother and others and our family called 911, Mom refused to go, yet when she fell prior, hospital called me for a ride for her which I did get, she wanted to go home, end of any other treatment, Brother was eventually given a misdemeanor, he is disabled with injuries from roofing and home inspections, also was addicted to pain medications and is under Psychological treatment, they stopped paying mortgage which was a mess, had a Bank of America loan of 103k, she had told me she used 22k, they said she owed it all, court ruled in Social Services favor, I spoke but had no lawyer, she is under the public guardianship, court said I had no information ( SS, medicare, pensions etc) which I did and gave them, lawyers want money, I am retired federal small pension and SS-age 62, is there any recourse, brother was going to do all, did nothing until present. House worth maybe over 450k in good shape was sold by Legal Aid in a Short sale, I documented all and questioned all with the Elder Care agency, which submits to the courts, but no word ,nothing changed, Mom is 89 and is doing well in the Heartland nursing and rehab, does remember much, maybe have the court examine her again?
What is it you want to change, and why?
What would you calculate that amount to be?
If you let this go, your mother will still be safe, settled in a good environment and free of future financial anxieties. You will have the frustration and dissatisfaction of feeling that she has been - not to mince words - cheated of perhaps up to, what, $200K? But bear in mind that in the end that is going to be mainly needed for her care, and it doesn't make a lot of difference whether the money goes into her account or direct to the state. And on the other hand, by letting go, you will be relieved of what is likely to end up a futile and infuriating battle.
It is unsatisfactory, and I sympathise with the indignation you must feel about the complacent and high-handed attitudes I expect you've been coming across. But are you sure this is worth your while?
You were (are) in NY.
I guess you could have come down there...fixed the house yourself and sold it, moved mom back to NY with you, etc. it would have taken possibly as much as a year to get all that done. But, you didn't. No one in the family did. The State did.
Now, the family is unhappy..but Mom is happy and well cared for. That is the goal...the goal has been achieved. Declare victory and move on.
But I like KatieKate's "declare victory" concept. Why fight to take on the burden of care when better-resourced and more numerous people are managing it capably?