When mom was 89 (6 years ago) she wanted to get out of her house due to too much responsibility. She lived in WV and I (son) live in TX. After a week long visit she decided it would be in her best interest to move close to me (10 mins away) in a senior independent living center. After the first 12 months she started showing signs on dementia and wanting to move back to WV. Now her dementia is worst and she is in a constant deep depression/anger that I won't move her back. Always crying and telling me she has to get back. She writes to friends that I am holding her prisoner. I don't know what to do. Her PCP has tested her for dementia and prescribed pills to help her with anger and depression and she won't take them. I am at wits end. What are my next steps to get relief for both of us?
Chamark, is your Mom living in an Independent Living facility that also has an Assisted Living/Memory Care section? If yes, ask the Staff to have a meeting with you to see if it time to move Mom to Memory Care. If Mom won't take her pills, does the Independent Living section have a med tech plan where you pay extra and the med tech group handles all of Mom's pills, and they watch her take her pills?
You can do therapeutic lies like telling Mom that there was a major storm and her house got damage, and she can't move back when the house is fixed... and keep using the excuse that the house isn't ready.
Like a toddler, your mom must rely on someone else to make good decisions for her. Don't give into the demands of a toddler, and don't move your mom away. Move her to memory Care once you are able and she qualifies.