Mom has been in the nursing facility for one year now. She is becoming more and more negative and critical of everything. She is argumentative and still tells me she wants to go home permanently. Lately she has been insisting on going to her home for the day to sew, do some wash, and maybe even spend the night.
At first I told her straight out, no. She had a major meltdown, cried and wanted to know "why". I couldn't come up with a good answer. I asked the nurse manager what she thought, and she thought it would be ok. I am very very uncomfortable with it and keep putting my mom off telling her "when I get time".
What should I do?
You might consider making a video of the neighborhood, favorite church, garden, even the home that you can show her if you think it wouldn't be to painful for her. Or take pics and assemble in a book she can look thru.
Could you take her for an outing somewhere else, like to a restaurant for a meal or for a walk in the sunshine or to a garden or farmer's market, or somewhere else she might like, just to get her out to break the monotony of the facility?
Have you decorated her room at the NH with items from her home so it seems familiar?
When my Mom makes such a comment about wanting to go home, I tell her she is in her home. Mom's bedroom at the NH has her furniture and familiar pieces, and this has really helped.