She also wraps things in plastic bags exspecially nonperishable foods and hides them. Her home is pretty neat until you open up a drawer or closet. Could her growing up without things during the depression era have something to do with the fact that she hides these items throughout the home?
"Hoarding disorder is a persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions because of a perceived need to save them. A person with hoarding disorder experiences distress at the thought of getting rid of the items. Excessive accumulation of items, regardless of actual value, occurs."
People who save things that are useful and have actual value are different from your mother, who sounds like she is saving and hiding things that actually are garbage or recycling.
How old is your mother? Has her behavior changed lately? Does she have a social circle or is she along most of the time? Have you considered finding a support group for her for her hearing loss?
We also learned a very useful ethic in using and reusing what we could. While this ethic is laughed at or ridiculed by some these days, we had our own method of recycling long before it became standard, or even mandatory in some areas.
We made out own clothes, grew much of our food, kept cars until they were on their last legs, and Dad built all the cabinets in the kitchen, remodeled it as well as the bath, and built a beautiful butcher block set of counters and cabinets that Norm Abrams would admire. He saved thousands of dollars, which eventually became available for his use during his last days.
There's a big difference between hoarding and saving for reuse. I'm appalled at how easily things are discarded these days, with the attitude - "you can buy it cheaper". And unfortunately, we can, given the junk that's commonly available.
I think there's a happy medium between hoarding, recycling and considering the wasteful discards of items. And I think there's an art to using how to repurpose items.
I think people who had to stand in bread lines or heat up bricks to put in beds to keep them warm at night view saving much differently from those who have the latest in electric gadgets.
And since i'm on a rant, I can't believe that people waste money on Alexa and other talking machines. How much effort does it take to look up weather either online, or by studying clouds and the kinds of trees with leaves that turn upward in a storm? What do these people do all day when there are speaking machines to tell them literally everything? What real choices do they have to make?
Foam carryout containers can also be used for growing seeds, and what better way to use them than to help provide your own food?
Dad has compulsions to 'save' things, but they do not get reused, nor recycled. Dad travels on Ferries regularly and saves every single plastic utensil that he gets. We are talking over 30 years of 'saving'. He fills a drawer, then empties the drawer into a plastic bag, then eventually they wind up in a garbage pile outside. One day I must have picked up 1000 assorted plastic utensils. I am not stretching the truth.
Keeping a few yoghurt containers to plant tomatoes in them is one thing, keeping hundreds is another. I have a little gizmo to make seedling pots out of newspaper. No need to keep plastic around, when it can go in the recycling.
Then I look in my own basement to see extra wallboard and pieces of lumber sitting around. The other day I found an extension board for a dining room table.... but heaven knows what table it is related to, table is probably long gone, but the wood is too good to just toss out :P
I did find when I cleared out my parents house that my Dad had a ton of pill bottle tops. Had no idea why he kept those tops. Only thing I could think was those tops were "trophies" that he was able to actually get those darn tops off the bottles !!
Dad did use many old plastic medicine bottles in his workshop to store nails, bolts, screws, etc.
My Mom had a knack of making clothing last for many decades. I even found a winter jacket that was mine from high school back in the 1960's. It looked almost brand new. And yes she would wear it every winter.
Nana1nana2, my Mom use to wrap the frozen foods in plastic bags, even the ice cream. Also would wrap in a plastic bag bags of uncooked rice and flour, which I think she did to keep bugs out.
What memories you've conjured up. My dad was the king of saving "stuff", from styrofoam containers to used drinking straws.
He used to go "dumpster diving" and bring home "treasures". Old, broken junk that didn't mean anything to anyone but him. It was "still good" and he could always "use" something off of it.
He would tear things apart to "fix" them then never put them back together, piles of disassembled stuff all over his apartment.
When he had to leave his apartment to go to live in a board and care, I must have thrown away over 100 disposable containers, out of ink pens, etc. (out of his sight, of course!)
I never remember throwing out "the trash" because nothing was (trash), even old broken belts, holey underwear, faded shirts, everything needed to be saved and had some "purpose".
He picked up paper clips, safety pins or any other intact object off the sidewalk. That used to make me mad because you don't know what kind of germs they have. He wasn't a bit concerned.
Fortunately, I can get rid of things (lots of donations to the Goodwill and other charities). But I also shop there, so what I donate, I probably buy enough to take its place! LOL. It must be the genes.
There must be dozens of different categories to divide hoarders into. It’s another “spectrum” to consider.
I’m sure people who collect Jimmy Choo shoes don’t consider themselves hoarders. Go back and read the Mayo definition. It’s a tricky one. One mans treasure another mans trash etc.
My mother born in 1918, (100 this May) spent her money on land but anything that crossed her threshold was not likely to exit.
I could list examples that would go on and on and I saw her many times provide others with just the thing they needed to solve a problem.
As the person who inherited her home and her eye for possibilities I sometimes think there should be a game show (at least a board game) for naming all the possibilities for any random item that most of us would toss.
So I’m going to say that there are many reasons to keep items that you perceive as worthless. I’m sorry you don’t have the life experiences (thankfully-possibly) that taught you the benefit of a plastic container.
At what point do you decide the exact number of any given item is the right number? ( actually I do decide on a magic number for things that seem to be growing).
At what date do you give up on the idea that you will make that quilt you’ve been saving the scraps for? Well...I guess you would have had to be a fabric person. Don’t go there if you haven’t already.
My husband says we have to move if I collect anymore books. (These are exempt IMO).
He wants to take a road trip this weekend to an outlet mall to buy pots! I’m betting he will not recycle one of the many pots in our cupboards. Can you tell who cooks at our house? But with all my books I can’t complain. Lol
If your mom’s items are hidden, I’d say she’s done a good job on managing any hoarder inclination she might have been burdened with.
In one of my in laws kitchen drawers I found many neatly folded white prescription paper bags. I never remember an occasion when one of those bags were used for anything?? But they were perfectly good bags??? I get it.
I think I am a little bit of a 'hoarder' BUT I could tell you exactly what each of the items I have 'rescued' can be reused for. :)
We also save good paper bags, you can grease them up and cover the chicken or meat, in the oven. (no grease proof paper)
Large ish jars or bottles, can have the tops cut of (with a grinder - then rounded for little vases)
Small ones are good for sorting coloured buttons, hooks and eyes, screws etc
Never buy a plant pot, chipped cups and bowls do this well.
Old wellington boots (gumboots) can repair soles on shoes.
Soooooo many things.
As I expect you can guess, we grew up with nothing, then rationing so everything had a value.
I feeel for you but I do understand how it happens.
My mom never threw any food away. She thought there was a purpose for everything and that everything could be recycled.
Humor her. Throw those things out in a few weeks- she won’t remember.
She isn’t going to change I suggest adapting yourself to it. Choose your battles. Let this go.
Many a time my boss would ask me if I had a small box as he wanted to send some small toys to his great-grandkids.... yep, I have the perfect box for him :) He finally stopped teasing me of being the "keeper of the boxes".
Thank goodness for weekly recycling at the curb. I can put the boxes out and not feel terrible. I do think twice whenever I get a Chewy pet food box, gosh those boxes are thick, too good to recycle at the curb :P
Get your mom’s mental condition checked though. My mom’s dementia showed itself by her hiding every important paper in the house. And her bedroom headquarters in the house was stocked like a bomb shelter!
Call a geriatric mental health department at a local hospital and have your mom evaluated, if you hadn’t already.
Growing up I saw how Depression folks can stretch a dime.
My grandmother and both my parents were savers. My mother can repurpose almost everything. Every bag, container, jar was saved. It was hard for me because I'm more of a minimalist. But growing up poor my mother just knew you had to keep what you have. There was no one around to give you anything.
My parents found it very hurtful and painful when I tried to help "clean" up. They thought I was being disrespectful and wasteful. As long as the house is safe and things have a proper place, I would try and let them have their way.
I’ve never gotten close to recreating my fantasy, my house is a replica of my parents.
Your mom's house is neat and you can walk through it without running into piles of junk so she must not be a hoarder. Hoarding's not curable anyways so you're in luck.
How much is too much? I agree that 100's of margarine tubs is too much, especially if they aren't used for anything.
My point is just don't be too hard on her. There will be plenty of time later to take care of the "too many" things.
I think it is a mistake to claim the behaviour is due to being raised in the depression.
My ex’s mother was raised in abject poverty on the Prairies, tar paper shack, 6 people in one or two rooms. No one in her extended family is a hoarder.
Now I fully admit to having hoarding tendencies, whether nature or nurture I do not know. But I am perfectly ok with stuff being thrown out by others. So I handle it by hiring people to come into my home and toss stuff for me.
I too am a book lover and I take 100 or so at a time to donate to book sales.
And I am a Quilter, scraps go to guild meetings for others to use.
I sometimes save interesting containers, such as those I've brought back from overseas or received in the mail, and I've decided the best thing to do is to use them to store things. For example, spare change goes into a couple empty salmon cans I saved from my trip to Korea, maps go into a rice bag from India, and some spare books are in a box that held bottled water sold in China. That way the containers are "justifying" the space they take up! I have no interest in typical souvenirs that are made simply to be souvenirs; I'd rather have something that had a legitimate function in its home country.
Dad saved "used" straws but he never had a straw cleaner nor did they ever see a dishpan of hot, soapy water. He'd just rinse them in cold water after he'd used them then later, stick them in the drinks of his company!!!! 😮 😝