She also wraps things in plastic bags exspecially nonperishable foods and hides them. Her home is pretty neat until you open up a drawer or closet. Could her growing up without things during the depression era have something to do with the fact that she hides these items throughout the home?
But what do I know... The Samaritan Apprentice
"we were cleaning out Grammy's closet after she died and found a shoe box labeled: String To Small To Save." Of course inside were tiny 2, 3 and 4 inch pieces of string that filled the box. It is the generation that had nothing and that is what makes them who they are today. My mom's favorites: 1) The envelopes from the bank after she uses the money. 2) Bags from the pharmacy 3) Empty pill bottles and of course the boxes, boxes, boxes......that everyone has mentioned!!
But how great it was when I needed a box of a certain size and I had 5 or 6 to choose from up in the attic!
You got me on the pill bottles! I thought I was pretty good about getting rid of stuff but I must have 25 yellow medication bottles from the pharmacy in a plastic bag. (I've taken the labels off.)
I recently used 2 for a friend that I shared some Ibuprofen with. (Costco sells them in a bottle of 1000!) I've used them for sewing needles, safety pins, coins, etc. Unfortunately, they aren't leaving as fast as they're coming! Guess I'll have to part with the ones that will no longer fit in the storage bag.
The good thing about living in Mexico is that everybody saves stuff. All I have to do is set it on the curb and it's gone. Easy recycling. 😊
Yes, "saving" has something to do with growing up during the depression and the war. Right now I have a ceramic apple sitting on my counter that was Moms. She saved rubber bands and twist ties in it. She had a farmhouse pantry so those margarine containers got saved. But, they were good for leftovers to send people home with. Bottle caps! People were saving them not long ago as a fund raiser. They got money for them. Same with empty pill bottles, they were used for medicines overseas. Mom saved jars, she used to make jelly. My sister died in another state. What didn't get sold Mom brought home. I wasn't just cleaning out Moms stuff, I was cleaning out my sisters too that was 20 yrs or more old. My SIL spent 2 weeks with her and told her to donate the rest. No, got to keep it, someone may need it. And believe me, when she did finally get rid of something, someone eventually needed it.
I Don't consider that hoarding, just a product of the time they grew up in.
Now, if they keep every paper they read. Every scrap of paper. You can't walk in their home with stuff all over, that's hoarding.
Me, after cleaning out my Moms I am working on mine. Have given away anything I haven't used in years. I am down to what is left is worth something. Working on my doll collection at this point.
BTW, I don't agree with reusing old drink straws, or hiding left over food.
My parents were not hoarders, and they were born/grew up just after the depression, but their parents were adults during the depression and thus, passed the "make do" mindset down to their children. So to answer your question, I do think it is related to growing up in or having parents who lived during that era.
When I moved in, I trashed bags and bags of.....bags. Paper and plastic grocery bags were saved for DECADES. Neatly folded and stored inside each other. It was almost like a work of art, the way Dad would fold and save them. But literally - just bags and bags of them. Some of the plastic bags were so old that they crumbled into dust when you touched them.
Bags and boxes filled with plastic food containers - cottage cheese, cool whip, take-out containers - anything washable was saved until it was sticky, dusty and brittle with age. Out they went.
Pill bottles - Mom and Dad were both on multiple medications, so these numbered in the hundreds. Dad would remove the labels and use them to store the myriad small bits and pieces of things that he saved. String pieces long enough to be used for "something later on". Small hardware items like screws or tacks. Small crafting items he used in his later years when he could no longer do his woodworking.
Don't get me started on the paper. I found every single tax return they had ever filed from the first year of their marriage going forward (interesting from a historical aspect), and every single bill they paid for decades, all neatly bundled and saved. Also all the bills and paperwork related to their handling of THEIR parents' finances before and after their deaths.
Thanks for the gifts, folks....they'll make a nice bonfire.
Had no idea what Dad kept in that attic. Much to my surprise the handyman started throwing down into the garage a lot of large empty boxes. My Dad would keep a box just in case he had to ship an item back thus use the original box. Well heavens knows when that dot-matrix printer would break down, if it did Dad still had the box :P
I've often wondered if people who suffer through lifelong poverty or chronic and debilitating illness aren't also subject to a form of PTSD.
It wouldn't surprise me if in 10 or more years PTSD encompasses a broad form of emotional traumas, including battered woman syndrome (if it's not already included), economic deprivation, displacement from homelands, and more. I can't believe that people living in Syria will ever be able to live a normal life again.
Every box for every item was *somewhere* in this house when I moved in.
That said, when mom started showing signs of dementia, the hiding, misplacing items and forgetting where they were became evident. When we had to do the shopping, she would indicate a need for something (paper towels, TP, etc) and we would provide it, but she would put it away somewhere and forget it was there, and then later ask for more saying she was out, so we ended up with more multiples of items! Despite having proper trash bags, unless I put a bunch at the bottom of the trash can, she would use grocery bags, which were way too small. She would not remember that she had a large box of them despite reminding her and moving them to a closet she used more often! Until we actually started cleaning out the place after moving her we only saw/experienced some of this. Misplaced tweezers? My brother's family must have taken them when they were visiting (those tweezers? I bought a new pair for her and later found 2-3 in the bathroom and about 5-6 in a dresser drawer!) Old jewelry slated for gold reclamation? The painter must have taken them. We found a large and a small bag full of old medication, all mixed - no idea what was what, how could you ever "reuse" them! Cup covers for frozen max and cheese in drawers. Freezer items wrapped in torn up grocery bags despite providing plenty of wax paper, plastic wrap and baggies! Despite living alone after dad passed in 2008, she never cleaned out these drawers, but it was more a case of it is put away, forgotten and lack of cleaning up periodically rather than hoarding. In the definition given by the Mayo Clinic, it could fall under this because of the "need to save them", but if we had the time to help clean out stuff, I do not think she would be 'distressed' about tossing much of the stuff that was not needed and/or broken/useless. She did try to give some clothes to me (most not stuff I would wear, not my 'style') and old tools, but as with OPs mother, on the surface everything appeared neat and orderly.
Several have indicated they learned 'frugal' ways from mom and dad - we are among them, but my younger brother is the worst! He is/was also a 'dumpster diver', bringing home items after taking the trash to the dump! When I was in college, the recycling idea became a "thing", however when we bought our first home, all we had access to was a dump for trash. Reusing items is, in a way, recycling and I do still take advantage of items this way. When they break or I have too many, I do throw some away. Yogurt cups, with drilled holes in the bottom are great for starting tomato and pepper plants! They get started then transplanted when viable to larger pots - containers saved from plant items purchased - no point wasting all that potting soil if the seeds do not germinate! I was also guilty of saving old bills and other paperwork. Many years ago I did pitch about 7 years worth of checking account information (well past the date needed to save them) and had to immediately make that trip to the dump before I put it all back! Since moving, I did shred the 80s, and 90s, and I believe some of the early 2000s... still more to do, but now a lot of mom stuff has made its way here. Now I have MORE to get rid of! The decision for the clothes is to donate whatever will no longer fit (she has gained 20# since the MC move!) There is just too much to deal with consignment or yard sale. I really do not have the time for that!
But, back to Nana1Nana2's question - it does not sound like hoarding to me from her brief description. Excessive saving of potentially useful (but not really needed) items or random saving of things like take-out plastics, etc might be a bad habit, but it is probably not hoarding. If she is wrapping non-perishables and stashing them, this sounds much more like a combination of old habits AND dementia. OP does not indicate mom's age, but does mention hearing loss - THAT can contribute to dementia. It really sounds to me more like she is in the early stages of dementia and should be monitored, especially if she is living alone. Despite having recently put some cameras in place to monitor entrance/kitchen area and finished basement while she was still at home, we had no inkling how much was going on, and what was/was not being cleaned up, cleared out or stashed. My observations, both in person and on the phone was the first clue to dementia (repetitive calls for a ride to appointment, repeating the same things over and over, having issues with paying bills, not understanding what the old 1099's she dug out were for, etc.) So definitely keep an eye on mom for signs of dementia and be proactive if she lives alone. If she lives with you or you with her, you can monitor the hidden stuff and perhaps retrieve it when she is not looking. The hiding of stuff just means you'll have some clean up to do at some point!
That's my MIL, God bless her. She borders on hoarding, but her home is neat; and she knows where every piece of junk she's carried home from a yard sale is stored away in case someone needs it.
Three freezers full of food that may be this summer's family project, though.
To all - as I was thinking (ouch) since my post, the "anthropologist" in me (yes, I have a degree in it, but never 'practiced' it, though I still enjoy reading up about other cultures, and applying some ideas to current "cultures") thought about how "primitive" societies would utilize every scrap of every animal that was killed for food - bones for weapons, needles, etc, hide for clothing an shelters, sinew for sewing, etc as well as all the meat and organs. So, this may be something that is deeply ingrained in our DNA as well. In times of plenty, perhaps the more well-to-do did not need to keep this 'tradition' going so it got lost along the way, or perhaps transitioned to buying all those expensive items that will never keep you warm or feed you! :-D Others have carried on that tradition of utilizing items for other purposes. Some take it to the extreme, becoming hoarders. I don't think my former MIL was much of a saver/re-user (her mother died when MIL was about 15, so maybe never had the chance to learn?) Despite that, her son, my former, saved so much crap (mechanic, so basement was full of loose bolts, screws, all kinds of who-knows-what, when we split.) I got to do the clean up for that too! He continued to do that - my daughter later bought his little house and had to clean out the shed and upper attic/converted to BRs, of all the crap he left behind... After his mother died, he moved into her house and my daughter rented his former MILs place, ALSO full of all kinds of crap!!! She could not clear it out as it was not her place, and it limited storage for her.
But if OPs mom is just saving plastic containers and wrapping/hiding non-perishable foods, I would not be overly worried. Later you may discover a lot more that has been "hidden" and often may be perplexed about some items, but unless it is impeding access, I would not be concerned. I would, however, as I mentioned in my last post, be on the lookout for dementia. Saving items for reuse or re-purpose is one thing, hiding items is definitely out of the ordinary.
What a job to clean out a tiny 1 bedroom apartment when he moved to AL. All the "treasures" had to be thrown away!