Mother was supposed to quit smoking before she moved in but did not. She now smokes outside the house but up against the house where the smoke can still come in the house. Last night my sister came back inside my mother's living area and found my mother smoking in the bathroom. My sister does not know how to set that boundary.
If your sis tries these things, tries talking to her about what she's risking by smoking in her home -- up to and including her having to leave -- then she's done all she can do. Then it's up to sis to decide if she wants her gone.
I heard tobacco smoking is a very powerful addiction which is difficult to quit, especially for women. If you take away the cigarettes, you will need to find something to substitute.
People who smoke claim it makes them feel calmer, which is correct, but the calming doesn't come from the tobacco itself, one can also get that same deep breathing in and exhaling using a short soda straw. Exercise can give the same calmness, too. If mom is mobile, get her walking. The more walking she does, the better she will feel and hopefully give up smoking.
I think it is too late, now. Mom is there and is going to do what she wants to do. But, assisted living, etc. isn't going to allow her to smoke, either.
Also while I am letting it out....I grew up with both parents smoking a pack a day in the house my whole life. I more than HATE the smell of smoke even a passing whiff. It makes my stomach turn!
I can not threaten to kick her out but I struggle with how to keep that horrible smell out of my house. In addition, I have a 7 year old who is struggling with the whole smoking concept too. Smoking is bad by Grandmommy smokes a pack a day.
Changes the whole ballgame. The next time your sister catches her with a cigarette, call the coppers. They'll put the fear of God in her. They may even haul her away since she's endangering the whole house.
Note: your garage will positively REEK from cigarette smoke. I guess you have to weigh what a hard stance is going to cost you in terms of your relationship with mom and whether or not you're willing to go to war over it. Weigh that. It's a decision only you can make. Seems like you've been making all the concessions, though....? You might point that out to her.
In the end? I'd rather she be smoking "in the open" than hiding in a closet. Too much danger of fire. As your mom begins a descent into dementia (which, if she lives long enough, no doubt she will) this problem will get worse.
"The Patch" -- demand she give it a try. Hard to believe she'd be needing oxygen and smoking. Tough addiction.
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