Prior to my Fathers' passing, he asked me to move in with Mom to help her out and care for her. She's 81 does not drive but mentally sound. (not to nice) but she's my Mom. I gave up everything and my son and i moved in. I have 3 older sisters, two live within 5 minutes of here. It costs me more to live here than it did on my own. It's been a little over 3 years (blood,sweat and tears) I can count on 1 hand how many times they have taken her out or given a ride. They hardly visit and it hurts my Mom. They cherished my Dad me too but not her and she although she can be mean did just as much for us as he did. They say crazy things about when Ma dies, I want my Money, or we're selling the house immediately, just mean stuff that makes me real sad and mad. I do not feel like what my parents worked for is MINE, I even said to her Ma why dont you leave everything to Boys Town or St. Judes 2 of her favorites. Its just sad. My ? is though when and if my mom passes before me, can they come and go as they please (do i have tenant rights?) And don't they have to give me time to find a new place and clean out the house??? Thanks for letting me rant and any help is greatly appreciated. And from what I see on this site, None of us are alone, so keep caring and smiling. (those of us who do it wouldn't have it any other way)
If mom doesn't have a will, get one written ASAP. Either way, see an attorney.
First of all I would consult a lawyer and have some kind of document done. If your Mom is mentally sound that should not be a problem, and even if she wishes to leave things equally - she should certainly be able to stipulate that you get to stay in the home for 6 months or a year after her passing before selling the house - I think that would be more than fair since you have undertaken her care.
Do they say those things to your Mom and you - or just you?
Having said all that, it is of course an extremely awkward subject that many people do leave alone - and afterwards are very sorry they did. In your position, I think I'd suggest to my mother that I put her in touch with an attorney who will help her sort everything out so that she need never think about it again. I'd limit my involvement to drafting a check list of subjects that need to be addressed, and give a copy each to the attorney and my mother. Shut them in a room and leave them to it. Check afterwards that the attorney is satisfied that mother had been concentrating and was content with her decisions. For myself, look ahead and make sensible plans about what to do and where to live in the future, making sure that they were not based on any expectations about the estate.
Let's assume your mother either dies intestate or shares her estate equally between all four of you. Who has rights to enter the house will be up to the executor, whether appointed by the state or by your mother. It would be sensible and practical if it were you, but you can't force that. Let's further assume that the house will be sold immediately. I'm not going to say it's never happened - who would dare? - but I don't think in general even uncaring siblings attempt to evict their sister on the day of their mother's demise. Besides, even if your siblings might like to chuck you out instanter, houses don't clean and market themselves…
Actually, you know what? You're really crossing bridges before you've come to them. Choose your attorney with care. Think about the specifics that need to be decided on. Take it from there.
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