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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mom talks about going home everyday. She thinks she lost her house keys, but they've always been in her coat pocket. I don't know what to do. Breaks my heart too..She gets mad or gives me the silent treatment...What do I do?
Hi Chappy, Sorry no one has responded so far. Seniors with dementia often express a desire to 'go home'. Even if they have lived in the house for 50+ years. Frequently, their mind has returned to their growing up years and that is the house they recall. If you enter senior wants to go home in the search box on this site and the Alzheimers site, you will get many postings and ideas. Many of the posters on this site have loved ones with dementia, so you have come to the right place!! Welcome.
I had a patient recently who, when being cleaned after a BM with a cold wipe, would whimper, "I want to go home! I want to go home!" This woman did NOT have dementia but the trauma of being placed on her side and wiped down made her go to a "happy place" for lack of a better term. And by the way, she WAS being cared for at home.
I think your mom's desire to go home is a state of mind. A "happy place" that she imagines. Maybe it is where she grew up or maybe it's the home she shared with your dad, her husband, for many years. Or maybe it doesn't exist except in her mind.
Have you tried redirecting her when she talks about going home? Get her attention on something else. Don't try to reason with her or get her to explain what she's talking about because she probably can't.
You might also want to try a low dose of anti-anxiety medication if your mom's desire to "go home" is frequent.
Chappy, my Mom [98] did the same thing, she kept saying "she wanted to go home" and would complain that my Dad would leave the motel without her. Actually Dad was visiting Mom in the nursing home.
We knew "home" to her was her childhood home as she would ask if the cows were in the field.... the only home that had cows was the dairy farm where she and her siblings grew up.
We would just answer to her "we will go tomorrow" and said nothing more. Mom was happy with that answer, even though we would use it very time we visited. I found too many words would really confuse her, thus a short sentence worked best.
When my mother wakes up, I give her tea, then I'm with her all day until she goes to bed. I don't like to leave her alone, I'm noticing new changes in her. Unless I go shopping which is a few minutes..most an hour, then back at cooking or cleaning or serving my mom..
Many people at the end of life talk about going home meaning they are ready to die and "go home" and be with the Lord. That is nothing we know for sure but it seems to be a comfort for the loved ones in their time of waiting. As mentioned above it can mean their childhood home or an ancestral home or the place they spent their married life and raised their children.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Many of the posters on this site have loved ones with dementia, so you have come to the right place!! Welcome.
I think your mom's desire to go home is a state of mind. A "happy place" that she imagines. Maybe it is where she grew up or maybe it's the home she shared with your dad, her husband, for many years. Or maybe it doesn't exist except in her mind.
Have you tried redirecting her when she talks about going home? Get her attention on something else. Don't try to reason with her or get her to explain what she's talking about because she probably can't.
You might also want to try a low dose of anti-anxiety medication if your mom's desire to "go home" is frequent.
We knew "home" to her was her childhood home as she would ask if the cows were in the field.... the only home that had cows was the dairy farm where she and her siblings grew up.
We would just answer to her "we will go tomorrow" and said nothing more. Mom was happy with that answer, even though we would use it very time we visited. I found too many words would really confuse her, thus a short sentence worked best.
As mentioned above it can mean their childhood home or an ancestral home or the place they spent their married life and raised their children.