My mother who is 90, and has been in a Memory Care unit for 4 years now has been recently diagnosed with a malignant form of skin cancer. We are waiting on the labs to confirm the doctors suspicions. It was not there on Jan 12 and now on Feb 24 it is 2 cm x 2 cm and growing fast with necrotic tissue in the middle. All very bad signs.
Doctor wants to operate on March 9. He says it's outpatient surgery and may require rehab for wound care post op. The doc wants to do a skin graft, she won't be able to walk, anesthesia will affect her quality of life and care, etc. Mom's LBD is already stage 6 almost to stage 7. She talks in loops, can't remember what she had for breakfast (at lunch) and is in pain.
I had her in the doctors office to look at her Venous Stasis and have a doctors opinion as the Memory Care medical system is slow and were not taking note of the lesions rapid growth.
I am wondering if we don't do surgery? But start the walk with hospice? It is a gut wrenching decision.
I don't know much about palliative care. Could someone point me in the direction of good information?
My own wife of 58 years of marriage died Feb. 5th, 2022. I am very empathetic, understand pretty well what you will be going through.
You need to go on the internet and download the DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY FORM, so next of kin can make arrangements with doctors, banks, healthcare decisions and end of life decisions for the ill person.
If the ill person is too sick to sign the form, you must go to his/her two doctors to confirm health disability; also two witnesses to your signature for her, in place of hers, in front of a Notary.
We called Vitas Healthcare and put her in Hospice Care at home. I just went through this same agony. Wife 82 died after 1 year of pain and misery, agony. Even in Hospice care for that year, she couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, had pain, but we couldn’t assess just how bad it was.
Your first priority should be getting her pain under control. Hospice nurses promptly respond to your questions. She’ll probably have to be sedated, because any serious diseases goes through stages, Able to walk, able to sit up, able to roll over… with assistance, then immobile. Bedsores become an everyday occurrence, treatable to a degree only. They won’t heal.
My wife suffered so much. Wasn’t able to eat or drink, even with baby bottles. We had her on 1 mL (liquid Morphine) every four hours, orally in cheek or under tongue till she passed. There were a couple of other meds given just to keep her comfortable.
1st thing: Immediately get the Notarized Durable Power of Attorney done. Don’t delay! It will make things tougher.
Call a Hospice Healthcare. Your choice. Get recommendation from Hospital; patient’s current health insurance will auto-terminate when Hospice starts. Hospice supplies most of the equipment and moves it in for you. Full electric bed, bed table, diapers, etc.
If you need guidance and helpful suggestions, message me.
an elderly, infirm patient through a skin cancer treatment does. Don't agree to the surgery, it is too much, and VERY stressful for them. (skin grafts, open wounds,
bleeding) Make her as comfortable and happy in her time left. End of life care is
very advanced, dignified and the kindest you can do for her.
God Bless You for being such a loving child.
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I did some research and found a product called CuraDerm Bec5 from a doctor in Vanuatu. I bought it from Ebay of all places, it wasn't on Amazon at that time. I put a little bit on my father's squamous cell cancer several times a day. I kept it cool in the refrigerator. I also found an interesting natural website that had good ideas. I went to the farmer's market and bought an eggplant. I cut it up and let it soak in apple cider vinegar for five days before I threw out the eggplant. I kept the liquid cool in the fridge. I used a cotton ball to put this on his cancer site first, let it dry before I put on the Curaderm Bec5. – Vanessa RN
Good for you for seeking alternatives.
I would opt NOT to do the surgery.
I would contact Hospice.
(She qualifies either way just due to the LBD)
The question right now is the lesion causing pain or discomfort? If it is not then I would leave well enough alone.
With surgery there is a good possibility that
1. recovery from anesthesia will be difficult
2. She will not return to her current "baseline" cognition after.
3. She will not understand what is going on and may pick at the new enlarge wound.
4. Since she is probably not very active blood flow is often reduced that will effect the healing of the wound. That may or may not heal at all.
5. If rehab is required will she be able to participate?
Did the doctor give a "prognosis", an expected outcome if she has surgery VS not having it? What is her lifespan with and without surgery?
Will she have to have follow up treatment? Chemo or radiation? If yes to either is this something that she could tolerate? And would you put her through it for what result?
Immediately afterwards, start her in hospice. Don’t follow up with systemic cancer drugs.
My mother’s skin cancer eventually spread throughout her body, But this took years in the making.
Anyway, I would ask about MOH’s and see where this takes you. If this is not a workable way to go, then Hospice will know when to attend to your Mom. Wishing you the best in your journey. I was my mom’s caregiver for 10 yrs.
Palliative Care - Hospice can make her comfortable for the time she has left. That seems like the more humane / kinder direction to take.
Squamous cell may not qualify her as it is easily treated.
If she were my mom I would not do surgery but start with hospice. What were your mom's wishes before her LBD?
Hospice will be able to keep her comfortable.
Our bodies were not meant to last forever and start to break down.
The dermatologist can order skilled home health care for wound management of the lesion, and that team may come up with a dressing that only needs changing 2x/week, with a goal of teaching family how to do wound care.
Hospice can provide wound care and other supports as she approaches the end of her long life. Help with bathing, some supplies in addition to wound care supplies. medications related to her hospice qualifying diagnosis, and education and support for her and for you and your family. Hospice does not cause death, but provides some comfort and support to families to reduce your regrets after she is gone.
A squamous cell lesion can grow rapidly and look very nasty at her age. And the likelihood of a skin graft site healing in this situation is very very very low.
Her primary care provider is the one to refer to hospice, I imagine the dermatologist would consider that out of his/her sphere of practice.
Do what you think is best. If it was my decision, I lean toward having it frozen to slow the growth but skip the full-on surgery.
Here is some good info to answer your question: How to Find Palliative Care (webmd.com) https://www.webmd.com/palliative-care/how-to-find-palliative-care
"So. Doc is mum until labs come back. He is calling it squamous cell, BUT. IT HAS tripled in size in 5 weeks time. ? I am beginning to see it is about how we feel when we die... not when we die. or how. It is about the emotional memory we want to create for our loved one".
So, about 2 years before her death, mom had a rapidly growing neoplasm on her face. She'd had melanoma before and wanted that thing gone.
The dermatologist who visited her NH facility gave us some choices.. Mohs surgery, or a punch biopsy. We opted for the punch biopsy in his office with local anesthesia.
Once they'd looked at the cells, it was a squamous cell cancer. From there the choice was Mohs surgery to get the rest, do nothing or a chemo topical cream to get what was at the margins. We opted for the cream.
Man, that thing REALLY looked like melanoma. Even to the docs. Don't panic before you need to,
If this were my mother who had advanced dementia as she did at 95, I'd leave her alone and give her no treatment at all. She, in fact, did have squamous cell cancer on her chin and also on her face (upper cheek) that the dermatologist kept warning me NEEDED to be removed. I finally told the dermatologist to stop visiting mom in the Memory Care after they'd removed the wart on her hand that was bothering her.
Mom passed on Tuesday of other causes, not from skin cancer.
The decision is up to you, of course, but consider the quality of her life NOW, with stage 6 dementia at play, and how life would be after a surgery, anesthesia, and rehab, then make your decision accordingly. My condolences over this entire situation and that you're both in such a position to begin with. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace, whatever you decide to do.