Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
In my own humble opinion this would be a very BAD idea. I cannot imagine it going well. Of course I don't KNOW Mom nor her adjustment to her ALF, nor how well she travels historically, nor how much she understands of what is going on.
I think that this is best discussed with the administration of the facility. I think if this goes wrong it will make this wedding all about MOM, and not about the bride and groom.
Wishing you good luck in your decision. This is not something I would attempt, quite honestly, in the BEST of situations.
I, personally, believe that no matter where a severely demented person lives, they should never be taken from their home for overnight trips. Change is far to incomprehensible for their broken brain and makes it too difficult for everyone involved.
Go, enjoy the wedding and bring back a video to share. Maybe, the granddaughter can come for a visit after to share the video and ring and honeymoon and make grandma feel like she was included after all.
My Mom was in her last stages if Dementia, maybe 6. She was incontinent. My niece, her granddaughter was being married 8 hrs away at a resort. I actually was setting up respite care in an AL so we could go without her. They were having a 50% sale on Room and Board, I ended up placing her there.
There was no way I was taking Mom. I had been caring for her in my home and I needed a break. I did not want to spend my time babysitting her. I just wanted to enjoy the wedding. You can take a video and show her or pictures.
My hub has end stage Alzheimer’s from a TBI and is in memory care. Our sons wedding is in 5 mo and though some have said the couples wishes want him there it’s me who is deciding and right now no. He just got over Covid and the change now has him not knowing how to even walk . He Can not do any ADLs and is incontinent. Though a nurse friend has offered to take him and leave with him if unable to tolerate all the commotion , he doesn’t remember anything not even the kids not me. That is not how a wedding should be. It’s a happy time and I don’t want regrets later . A lot can happen in next 5mo and it’s local but the decline in last two months and esp the last week has me knowing this journey has excelerated and I truly take it a day at a time. You wouldn’t enjoy the wedding if she were there and let’s face it you need some joy in your life too. So go enjoy ,make good memories and take pics. You may feel bad about it now but you will be so happy later that you allowed the kids their time. Take her pic in a nice frame and set it on a table if some feel they will miss her . Mom will never know. It never is easy and he is my third family member with dementia two from accidents. And I know he would want the kids happiness first and foremost so go enjoy and reminisce after. You will not regret your decision.
No , Mom needs to stay where she is so she can adjust .
Taking her away overnight will just add to her confusion .
Show her videos and pictures when you get back .
If the wedding was local and not overnight , it may have been more doable , with hiring an aide and not having her stay the whole time . Large parties for too long can be too much for them to handle, causing anxiety due to too much stimulation .
In general , I do not believe overnight travel, especially to unfamiliar locations is a good idea at this stage of dementia . They can get very disoriented , anxious , try to leave the hotel at night to “ go home”.
Absolutely not! Even if you don't mind upsetting her apple cart regarding adjustment to a facility, you need to consider that her behavior may not be appropriate at various times during the wedding festivities. She may be the most compliant patient where she feels familiar, but in another setting she could start hiding teaspoons in her purse, picking up bugs and eating them, or crying uncontrollably. Don't think this couldn't happen. It does, and to some of the most (formerly) well-behaved people I know. Then it becomes YOUR problem to remove her from the scene, figure out how to handle the situation, or medicate her to get her back in the car.
You don't need these problems. Chances are she won't recognize a lot of people there anyway. Watch the video with her afterwards, and freeze a piece of the wedding cake to eat while you're doing it. Or not, since the video may be confusing for her.
NO! let me rephrase that HECK NO! The number of people, the noise the new place will confuse her. There is a potential that she will try to leave the hotel room trying to "get home" There is a REAL good possibility that 2 hours into the car trip she will want to go home. There is a real good possibility that every 5 minutes she will want to go home. And how do you plan on having a good time while you are caregiving? And it is not fair for you to ask anyone else to care for her while you are enjoying yourself. Unless you plan on hiring a caregiver for the entire trip. (that would be the only way that you could bring her and make it "work")
I know you want her to see her granddaughter. I know you want her to see her in her wedding dress. My suggestion would be to have her granddaughter and the groom come by sometime after the ceremony in her dress and have a small reception there at the facility. You can have cake and show her photos of the wedding.
Wouldn’t advise it. Dementia can make a LO act in very particular ways with no advanced warning. LO is already confused and may not recognize other family members. New surroundings, new schedule and unfamiliar faces may trigger some really bad behavior that may embarrass granddaughter and make a memorable day an awful day.
My grandmother had died...my moms mom. I drove mom two states away to go to the funeral. We stayed in a hotel. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without leaving the door open because I was afraid she would leave the room. She went into the bathroom, took off all of her clothes and put them in the sink and turned the water on. She didn't know why we were there. She didn't recognize her mother in the casket. She argued with me about what roads I was driving on (she hadn't driven in more than a decade) She was up and down all night, so that meant I was up and down all night. It was an exhausting trip and I only did it because I didn't want to argue with her family as to why she didn't attend her own mothers funeral.
If you don't have to take your mom, then don't. The trip will end up being about your mom and not about the bride and her special day.
My sister in law’s mother had Alzheimer’s , she was in memory care . My sister in law brought this woman to my mother’s wake at the funeral home as a “ see what I’m dealing with “ , because that’s how my sister in law is , she’s weird . She literally said “ see what I’m dealing with “ . ( She had to compare and compete in everything , even over which one of our mother’s had a worse case of dementia ).
I felt so bad for this woman in her 90’s with Alzheimer’s . She had no idea why she was at the funeral home , or who all the people were . She kept asking her daughter ( my sister in law ) to go home . My sister in law kept telling her mother who people were . The woman could not remember and wasn’t going to make any connections of who was related to who .
I felt like my sister in law put this poor woman on display .
I don’t know why people insist that we have to include elderly who are suffering with dementia to weddings and funerals and expect them to act normal , to remember who people are , or enjoy being at a family event .
I’d say no get a video with a personal message done just for her and make a video as well of a snap shot and a photo in a nice frame fir her explaining the journey is too far for her to travel but they did something soecial for her
monitor tho - only you know if that could upset your mother seeing it without attending
But I’d say a def no to travelling really my friend took her mother to a family event and unfortunately her mother spoilt it good and proper It’s just a bit too far for an elderly person - they tire very easy
Please don’t. My husband had only moderate cognitive impairment from Alzheimer’s (could still walk, communicate, use the restroom), and I took him to a friend’s wedding. I had to have someone watch him while I stepped away for just ten minutes to find the restroom. He kept wandering off if I spoke to another guest & 100% of my attention wasn’t on him. I had to cut up his food for him & try to keep him from getting it all over, while people stared and kept asking me questions. It was exhausting and I barely remember the wedding itself.
You are right. I forgot about the eating. There comes a time when meals have to be private at home or in the dining room of whatever care facility the person lives in.
The other people at the wedding or restaurant should not be put off their meals because they're sitting across from some elderly person slopping food all over themselves, or being fed by their spouse or aide.
This question was asked before on this forum. The answer is no, you should not take her to the wedding.
It's a terrible idea. She will not have a good time and neither will anyone else who has to take care of her. This means traveling with her, being at the wedding with her, and doing her care at the hotel.
In fact, I would go as far as to say that a 6-hour car ride, a wedding then a reception, and a hotel stay for a person with moderate to severe dementia will be an ordeal. It will be an ordeal for whoever has to take care of her as well.
Moderate to severe dementia usually comes with incontinence. What's the plan if she craps herself at the wedding reception? Public restrooms don't have adult changing tables. Is she in a wheelchair or still mobile? I've had clients with dementia who were still mobile and when they feel like sitting down, they do. In a parking lot, on the grass somewhere, or right there on the floor of wherever they are. This was almost always followed by peeing themselves.
Let your daughter enjoy her day. She will not enjoy it and neither will you if her grandma with advancing dementia is there.
I'm going to pile on with the others here and suggest that you not put your mother through the wedding trip.
Most likely, she will become confused and upset anyway from a long car ride and being in strange places.
Dementia patients just cannot comprehend changes and it tends to upset them.
Sometimes - I'm guilty of this - we want to include our loved one with dementia because we still believe that the event or dinner or whatnot will be meaningful and happy for them. So we sit them at the table because it seems heartless to exclude them - but the end result is upsetting for all involved.
(My mother didn't want to go to my daughter's wedding so I didn't take her - and that was before she was lost to dementia.)
What everyone said here - definitely no for all the reasons listed. My mom has mod/sev dementia and there is no way this would be feasible. Go enjoy the wedding and bring back some photos and/or video. I’ve found as time goes on I struggle with what to do when I’m with mom ( besides feeding her ) so a pleasant photo tour of a wedding could be a great activity. If/when she forgets, you can do the wedding photo tour again.
And no guilt! Have a great time and I hope you come back refreshed.
NO, NO, NO! As it was said it will be a disaster! She will never know that she did not attend. Take pictures, video, but do not physically take her - no, no, no, no!
I am sorry but not a good idea. We tried a two night trip to Gatlinburg several years ago. Mom could not keep up, got very confused with new place and it increased her memory issues. Go and enjoy.
Earlier in the disease process, I definitely noticed taking mom away out of town and/or overnight would destabilize her, exacerbating her dementia symptoms. It was two permanent steps forward on her dementia journey.
My mother took my 85 year old grandmother to my first wedding. She was incontinent with some dementia going on at the time. Grandma wound up peeing all over herself and the floor (I have no idea WHY there were no incontinence briefs being used), and eating all the butter patties that were on the table, remarking how delicious the "cheese" was. She kept wandering off, and my mother wound up playing babysitter to HER rather than enjoying her role as mother of the bride that evening.
My experience tells me that any change in the dementia patient's routine can cause anxiety, confusion, and lots of stress.
A caregiver on my forum once said that she brought her mom home to live with her for a week. During this week, the weather markedly changed and got colder. She added a blanket to mom's bed. That night, mom was walking around in distress and anxiety. She said told her daughter she cannot find her bedroom. Took some time before the daughter realized it was the blanket that had added to the confusion.
I personally do not recommend that you take your mom to the wedding, especially that she has recently moved to ALF.
My husband's dementia has been increasing recently. I feel I can partially contribute it to the changes in our home so I can imagine the many unexpected issues that would come up away from our home... then trying to return to normal after the trip.
I recently had to get rid of a glider rocking chair because he insisted on sitting in it and if not watched carefully, he would tip it over trying to get up. When he walked by it, he would grab the back and become unstable. The matching gliding footstool had to go too. We replaced it with a basic accent chair and a stable footstool.
I decided we needed a split K adjustable bed because he is needing to be higher due to swallowing issues. We currently have a Q adjustable bed and my back hurts when we get up almost every morning. To make room for the new bed, I had to get the guest bed out of the house, move the Q to the guest room then sleep in the guest room a couple of nights until the new bed came.
Because of the changes, it seems his sense of spacial awareness is totally out of sort and finding his way around our house has gotten a lot worse. He also is showing other symptoms of progression.
In the past, I did not understand all the negative replies to questions like these before we moved into this phase but I definitely get it now.
My mom was at that same stage when we took her out of ALF to attend the small, local, outdoor wedding of her granddaughter at a park with a restaurant lunch afterwards. Was only going to be a two-hour event. I had often taken her out to lunch or little shopping trips and I thought this would be fine.
WRONG! Mother didn’t even recognize anyone but me. She was confused. She wandered off during the quick ceremony. We wrangled her into the car and onto the restaurant. Once there, she had a major fecal event (and this was before she had become incontinent whatsoever and thus had on nothing but cotton underwear).
It was awful attempting to clean her up in that bathroom. Her clothing was completely soiled and feces ran down her legs. Thankfully, we had a spare set of clothes in the car. With the assistance of my grown daughter, we got her cleaned up, and then I had to clean up the restroom. The restaurant manager was extremely kind and helpful and provided everything I needed to get the restroom clean and fresh.
That was the last time mom left her facility, other than occasionally needing an ER visit. 🙁.
I hate this disease. Mom was diagnosed in January 2011. Nearly 14 years of saying goodbye to my dear Mom. 😢
Well that says it all right there! A major fecal event. I hate dementia with every ounce of my being. I'm so sorry you've had to witness the long goodbye for nearly 14 yrs. 😣
I think you already know the answer to this. If you want to enjoy this wedding, don't bring your mom. Neither you nor she will enjoy it and you may actually make the entire day frustrating for all. Bring her pictures of the day and if she really has severe dementia, tell her the wedding was last year and you just got the photos. Little lies can make things easier.
Sorry, you should not bring your mom. Maybe have a small get together at your mom's personal care home or share memories and pictures with her. Once your mom enters that level of care, it's best that she stays in her familiar surroundings.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think that this is best discussed with the administration of the facility. I think if this goes wrong it will make this wedding all about MOM, and not about the bride and groom.
Wishing you good luck in your decision. This is not something I would attempt, quite honestly, in the BEST of situations.
Go, enjoy the wedding and bring back a video to share. Maybe, the granddaughter can come for a visit after to share the video and ring and honeymoon and make grandma feel like she was included after all.
There was no way I was taking Mom. I had been caring for her in my home and I needed a break. I did not want to spend my time babysitting her. I just wanted to enjoy the wedding. You can take a video and show her or pictures.
Congratulations to your son. I wish him (and you) happiness for the future.
I wish your husband peace, and strength to your family.
Taking her away overnight will just add to her confusion .
Show her videos and pictures when you get back .
If the wedding was local and not overnight , it may have been more doable , with hiring an aide and not having her stay the whole time . Large parties for too long can be too much for them to handle, causing anxiety due to too much stimulation .
In general , I do not believe overnight travel, especially to unfamiliar locations is a good idea at this stage of dementia . They can get very disoriented , anxious , try to leave the hotel at night to “ go home”.
You don't need these problems. Chances are she won't recognize a lot of people there anyway. Watch the video with her afterwards, and freeze a piece of the wedding cake to eat while you're doing it. Or not, since the video may be confusing for her.
HECK NO!
The number of people, the noise the new place will confuse her.
There is a potential that she will try to leave the hotel room trying to "get home"
There is a REAL good possibility that 2 hours into the car trip she will want to go home. There is a real good possibility that every 5 minutes she will want to go home.
And how do you plan on having a good time while you are caregiving?
And it is not fair for you to ask anyone else to care for her while you are enjoying yourself.
Unless you plan on hiring a caregiver for the entire trip. (that would be the only way that you could bring her and make it "work")
I know you want her to see her granddaughter.
I know you want her to see her in her wedding dress.
My suggestion would be to have her granddaughter and the groom come by sometime after the ceremony in her dress and have a small reception there at the facility. You can have cake and show her photos of the wedding.
To us, it’s a weekend. To a person with dementia, it’s a month.
If you don't have to take your mom, then don't. The trip will end up being about your mom and not about the bride and her special day.
My sister in law brought this woman to my mother’s wake at the funeral home as a “ see what I’m dealing with “ , because that’s how my sister in law is , she’s weird . She literally said “ see what I’m dealing with “ . ( She had to compare and compete in everything , even over which one of our mother’s had a worse case of dementia ).
I felt so bad for this woman in her 90’s with Alzheimer’s . She had no idea why she was at the funeral home , or who all the people were . She kept asking her daughter ( my sister in law ) to go home . My sister in law kept telling her mother who people were . The woman could not remember and wasn’t going to make any connections of who was related to who .
I felt like my sister in law put this poor woman on display .
I don’t know why people insist that we have to include elderly who are suffering with dementia to weddings and funerals and expect them to act normal , to remember who people are , or enjoy being at a family event .
get a video with a personal message done just for her and make a video as well of a snap shot and a photo in a nice frame fir her explaining the journey is too far for her to travel but they did something soecial
for her
monitor tho - only you know if that could upset your mother seeing it without attending
But I’d say a def no to travelling really
my friend took her mother to a family event and unfortunately her mother spoilt it good and proper
It’s just a bit too far for an elderly person - they tire very easy
You are right. I forgot about the eating. There comes a time when meals have to be private at home or in the dining room of whatever care facility the person lives in.
The other people at the wedding or restaurant should not be put off their meals because they're sitting across from some elderly person slopping food all over themselves, or being fed by their spouse or aide.
It's a terrible idea. She will not have a good time and neither will anyone else who has to take care of her. This means traveling with her, being at the wedding with her, and doing her care at the hotel.
In fact, I would go as far as to say that a 6-hour car ride, a wedding then a reception, and a hotel stay for a person with moderate to severe dementia will be an ordeal. It will be an ordeal for whoever has to take care of her as well.
Moderate to severe dementia usually comes with incontinence. What's the plan if she craps herself at the wedding reception? Public restrooms don't have adult changing tables.
Is she in a wheelchair or still mobile? I've had clients with dementia who were still mobile and when they feel like sitting down, they do. In a parking lot, on the grass somewhere, or right there on the floor of wherever they are. This was almost always followed by peeing themselves.
Let your daughter enjoy her day. She will not enjoy it and neither will you if her grandma with advancing dementia is there.
Take a video and show your mother afterwards.
Educate yourself.
Gena / Touch Matters
Most likely, she will become confused and upset anyway from a long car ride and being in strange places.
Dementia patients just cannot comprehend changes and it tends to upset them.
Sometimes - I'm guilty of this - we want to include our loved one with dementia because we still believe that the event or dinner or whatnot will be meaningful and happy for them. So we sit them at the table because it seems heartless to exclude them - but the end result is upsetting for all involved.
(My mother didn't want to go to my daughter's wedding so I didn't take her - and that was before she was lost to dementia.)
And no guilt! Have a great time and I hope you come back refreshed.
She will never know that she did not attend.
Take pictures, video, but do not physically take her - no, no, no, no!
No, you should not take mom to this wedding.
Oh, my goodness. Your grandmother should not have been at your wedding.
A caregiver on my forum once said that she brought her mom home to live with her for a week. During this week, the weather markedly changed and got colder. She added a blanket to mom's bed. That night, mom was walking around in distress and anxiety. She said told her daughter she cannot find her bedroom. Took some time before the daughter realized it was the blanket that had added to the confusion.
I personally do not recommend that you take your mom to the wedding, especially that she has recently moved to ALF.
I recently had to get rid of a glider rocking chair because he insisted on sitting in it and if not watched carefully, he would tip it over trying to get up. When he walked by it, he would grab the back and become unstable. The matching gliding footstool had to go too. We replaced it with a basic accent chair and a stable footstool.
I decided we needed a split K adjustable bed because he is needing to be higher due to swallowing issues. We currently have a Q adjustable bed and my back hurts when we get up almost every morning. To make room for the new bed, I had to get the guest bed out of the house, move the Q to the guest room then sleep in the guest room a couple of nights until the new bed came.
Because of the changes, it seems his sense of spacial awareness is totally out of sort and finding his way around our house has gotten a lot worse. He also is showing other symptoms of progression.
In the past, I did not understand all the negative replies to questions like these before we moved into this phase but I definitely get it now.
My mom was at that same stage when we took her out of ALF to attend the small, local, outdoor wedding of her granddaughter at a park with a restaurant lunch afterwards. Was only going to be a two-hour event. I had often taken her out to lunch or little shopping trips and I thought this would be fine.
WRONG! Mother didn’t even recognize anyone but me. She was confused. She wandered off during the quick ceremony. We wrangled her into the car and onto the restaurant. Once there, she had a major fecal event (and this was before she had become incontinent whatsoever and thus had on nothing but cotton underwear).
It was awful attempting to clean her up in that bathroom. Her clothing was completely soiled and feces ran down her legs. Thankfully, we had a spare set of clothes in the car. With the assistance of my grown daughter, we got her cleaned up, and then I had to clean up the restroom. The restaurant manager was extremely kind and helpful and provided everything I needed to get the restroom clean and fresh.
That was the last time mom left her facility, other than occasionally needing an ER visit. 🙁.
I hate this disease. Mom was diagnosed in January 2011. Nearly 14 years of saying goodbye to my dear Mom. 😢