Our 90 yr old mom has been showing signs of dementia for more than 10 years. In 2007 she was diagnosed with probable A/D. My bachelor brother and I bought a home together so we could care for her, and my now 50 yr. old son, who suffered a severe traumatic brain injury 21 years ago. Mom picked out the house and my son feels like the luckiest guy in the world because his room is next to his mom's and grandma's. They have been joined at the hip since the night he was born and share many of the same cognitive deficits and interests. As mom's illness has progressed they have enjoyed each others company a great deal and have, for years, watched all the old comedy sitcoms on tv laughing and having a great time. My son has helped with mom's care in the many ways that he is able and our family has actually had a pretty wonderful and unique journey with our mom as her illness evolves. However, recently she has begun withdrawing (that's what I think), because of memory issues she gets upset when we, or her caregivers, try to get her up in the morning or go to the bathroom or have her take a shower (which is down to once a week, fine with me as she gets a good sponge bath every day). She is always sure she has just eaten and lunch and supper have become very difficult. I know it has something to do with her memory loss and I can usually redirect her outbursts, with a good long kiss on the lips until I get her laughing, or in a variety of other ways. I want to minimize her anxiety as much as possible. No matter how much I read about dementia & A/D, I have a very difficult time knowing what the changes mean or what to expect next. Our philosophy has been to keep our mother as comfortable, feeling loved and as secure as possible, healthy and happy. We have, for the most part, been successful. I am wondering if she is withdrawing, and if this is leading to even less involvement in life. I think I would be better able to handle it If I understood where we are in the decline and what to expect next. I have been a primary caregiver for many people in my life during the past 21 years, both with dementia and with end of life cancer. I know I can let go of my mom when the time comes and be incredibly grateful for the wonderful, loving time we have shared through most of these past 10 years. I just am never sure if there is something more I can/should do to try to stimulate her and try to help her be more involved. We have lots of help at home because mom purchased most excellent long term care insurance and my brother was able to help her pay for it when she could no longer do so. We know we are blessed yet, it is still very sad and painful to watch this progressive decline and not understand it well enough. I would be so happy to hear from anyone who might have insight to my concerns.
I also know that loud noise confuses them...they can't make sense of where it is coming from, and exactly if it is real or not (the tv)... I know I can drop a spoon in the kitchen sink and S is startled... wants to know what that noise was.... if I shut the dryer door, it confuses him... so as I said, just suggestions.... imagine having a difficult time understanding the world around you, and being on noise overload... it's not noisey to us, but possibly to them... wish you well... let us know what happens....